Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm, tránh từ thừa và tiếng ngừng (uh). Cấu trúc nên có câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó mở rộng bằng chi tiết cụ thể. Ví dụ: sửa thì động từ (it makes me), dùng cụm từ tự nhiên (after a long day at work) và rút gọn để tránh lặp.

例: I prefer happy music because it makes me feel cheerful. For example, after a long day at work, upbeat songs help me relax and lift my mood.

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp (subject-verb agreement), trật tự từ và lựa chọn từ chính xác. Tránh mô tả mơ hồ như "has a melody" (mọi bài hát có giai điệu). Nên nêu lý do cụ thể và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc (because, so).

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel excited because of its energetic rhythm and catchy melodies. Therefore, I enjoy listening to upbeat pop songs when I need a boost.

提案: Cải thiện tính rõ ràng và tính chính xác thông tin; dùng thì quá khứ nhất quán khi nói về quá khứ. Tránh lỗi từ vựng như "literature music" và "listions"; nên nói cụ thể về môn học (music lessons) và tần suất (every week).

例: Yes, when I was in primary school I took music lessons every week, where we learned basic music theory and practiced singing and simple instruments.

提案: Cải thiện phát âm, trật tự từ và nội dung rõ ràng. Tránh tiếng ngắt quãng (uh) và sửa cấu trúc câu để mạch lạc: nêu hoạt động cụ thể (studying, doing housework) và kết quả rõ ràng (help me concentrate).

例: Yes, I usually listen to music while studying because it helps me concentrate and keeps me motivated during long sessions.

× I prefer happy music because uh, it's make me happy and uh, help me unwind after a long hard working day.

✓ I prefer happy music because it makes me happy and helps me unwind after a long, hard-working day.

The subject 'it' refers to 'happy music' (third person singular), so the verbs must take the third person singular '-s' form: make -> makes, help -> helps. Also add a comma between 'long' and 'hard-working' and hyphenate 'hard-working' for correct adjective form. Suggestion: Always add '-s' for verbs with he/she/it in present simple and check adjective compound forms.

× Yes, happy music usually make I feel more excited because it has a melody, very interactive and, uh, attractive. So I'm very like listening to happy music.

✓ Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because it has a melodic, very engaging, and attractive melody. So I really like listening to happy music.

'Happy music' is third person singular, so 'make' should be 'makes'. The object pronoun should be 'me' not 'I'. 'Has a melody, very interactive and attractive' is awkward; use adjectives 'melodic' and 'engaging' and repeat or restructure 'melody'. 'I'm very like' is incorrect; use 'I really like'. Suggestion: Use correct object pronouns and third-person verb agreement, and choose appropriate adjectives and adverbs (really) for natural phrasing.

× When I was in primary school I had I have taken many literature music in class and I had to 1 listions all week.

✓ When I was in primary school I took many music literature classes and I had to listen every week.

The student mixed tenses and used incorrect verb forms. 'Had I have taken' is ungrammatical; use simple past 'took'. 'Literature music' is awkward — 'music literature classes' or 'music literature' is better. 'Listions' is a misspelling of 'listen'. 'Had to 1 listions all week' likely means 'had to listen every week'. Suggestion: Use simple past for past activities, correct verb spelling, and maintain consistent word order.

× Uh yes, uh, I usually listen to music where why I doing hair was all sturdy because it's make me more more contrary on my work.

✓ Yes, I usually listen to music while I am doing hair because it makes me more focused on my work.

'Where why I doing hair was all sturdy' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use the preposition 'while' to indicate simultaneous actions. 'Doing hair' needs present continuous 'I am doing hair'. 'Make' must be 'makes' for third-person singular 'it'. 'Contrary on my work' is wrong; use 'focused on my work'. Suggestion: Use 'while' for simultaneous actions, correct verb forms, and choose appropriate collocations like 'focused on'.