Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời tốt nhưng cần tự nhiên hơn và loại bỏ lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ. Hãy bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh lặp từ (“to to”) và thay “offers me to refresh” bằng “helps me refresh” hoặc “cheers me up”. Thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể ngắn gọn để làm câu trả lời đầy đủ nhưng không quá dài (không vượt quá 5 câu).

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me refresh my mood after a long day. For example, upbeat pop songs lift my spirits when I'm tired, and they make it easier to relax in the evening.

提案: Câu trả lời chứa lỗi động từ (subject-verb agreement) và một vài từ thừa. Sửa cấu trúc: dùng “make me feel” → “makes me feel” và tránh dùng “completely” không cần thiết. Nên dùng một liên từ để kết nối lý do (for example / because) và nêu một ví dụ ngắn cụ thể về loại nhạc hoặc bài hát giúp bạn tập trung. Giữ trong tối đa 5 câu.

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited. For example, upbeat instrumental tracks help me stay focused while studying, and cheerful tunes make cooking more enjoyable.

提案: Câu trả lời lặp từ, có lỗi ngữ pháp và thiếu rõ ràng. Cần một câu chủ đề ngắn gọn ở thì quá khứ (I took / I studied), sau đó thêm chi tiết cụ thể về thời gian, kéo dài bao lâu, hoặc bạn học những gì. Xóa những từ thừa như “weird” và sửa cấu trúc ‘I play a bit’ → ‘I can play a little’. Giữ tối đa 5 câu.

例: Yes, I took basic music classes when I was a child. My mother enrolled me in piano lessons for about two years, so I can play a few simple pieces now.

提案: Ý chính rõ ràng nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và từ ngữ không chính xác (“in every activities”, “daily lives”, “UMM”). Sửa thành “I listen to music during activities such as…”. Nên nêu cụ thể khi nào bạn chọn nhạc vui và ví dụ ngắn về thể loại hoặc ca khúc. Hạn chế tiếng tạm ngắt (umm) khi nói. Giữ dưới 5 câu.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things, such as cooking, studying, or chatting with friends. I usually choose upbeat pop or acoustic songs because they improve my mood and keep me motivated.

× I would say that I prefer happy music because it offers me to to refresh my mood and sometimes it helps me unwind after a busy day.

✓ I would say that I prefer happy music because it helps me to refresh my mood and sometimes it helps me unwind after a busy day.

The phrase 'offers me to to refresh' is incorrect because 'offer' is not followed by 'to' plus a verb meaning 'help'. Use 'help' or 'allows' or simply 'helps me to refresh' for natural English. Remove the duplicated 'to'. Suggestion: use 'helps me (to) refresh my mood' or 'allows me to refresh my mood'.

× Personally, happy music completely make me feel more excited, especially when I am studying or cooking because it helps me to focus more and have a good mood.

✓ Personally, happy music completely makes me feel more excited, especially when I am studying or cooking because it helps me to focus more and puts me in a good mood.

The subject 'happy music' is singular, so the verb must be 'makes' not 'make' (subject-verb agreement). Also 'have a good mood' is unnatural; use 'puts me in a good mood' or 'improves my mood'. Keep tense consistent.

× When I was small, my mom took me to a basic music class and and I study and I studied piano and I play a bit Weird, weird.

✓ When I was small, my mom took me to a basic music class and I studied piano; I can play a little, though it's a bit rusty.

Multiple errors: 'and and' is duplication; mix of present 'study' and past 'studied' is inconsistent—use past 'studied' to match 'When I was small'. 'I play a bit Weird, weird' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'I can play a little' and optionally add 'though it's a bit rusty' for clarity. Ensure consistent past tense for past events.

× I choose to listen to music in every activities and daily lives like cooking, studying or even chatting with my friends. I use happy music to improve my mood and also to UMM.

✓ I choose to listen to music in everyday activities and daily life, like cooking, studying or even chatting with my friends. I use happy music to improve my mood and to relax.

Use 'everyday activities' (adjective + noun) not 'every activities'. 'Daily lives' should be 'daily life' (uncountable) or 'everyday life'. Replace filler 'UMM' with 'to relax' or similar. Also ensure articles and noun forms are correct.