Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and give a clear specific example. Start with a direct topic sentence, then one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and energises me. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop or dance tracks when I need to feel motivated, and they usually make me smile and feel more productive.

提案: Combine short fragments into complete sentences, correct verb forms, and use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect reason and result. Give one specific situation and result.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because it has a fast tempo and catchy rhythm. For instance, when I drive to the office in the morning and play dance-pop, I feel more alert and arrive in a much better mood.

提案: Answer directly with correct tense and give a clear reason or brief detail. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Use linking words such as however or because to explain choices.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes. However, I wish I had learned guitar or singing when I was younger, but I focused on playing soccer and studying English instead.

提案: Give a clear, fluent response with one or two specific examples and correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect activities and effects (for example, when/so/therefore). Remove fillers.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while commuting, especially when I drive to work or go to the soccer field. It makes me feel upbeat and helps me stay focused on the road.

× I prefer happy music because when I listen listen to happy music, I'm get excited and sometimes I feel happy.

✓ I prefer happy music because when I listen to happy music, I get excited and sometimes I feel happy.

Error: incorrect use of present progressive 'I'm get' and repeated word 'listen'. Reason: 'get' should be simple present 'I get' to match habitual action with 'when I listen'. Remove duplicated 'listen'. Suggestion: Use simple present for regular habits: 'when I listen to happy music, I get excited.'

× How exactly? How exactly? Zebra pop dance music. I like it, I listen.

✓ How exactly? I like zebra pop dance music and I listen to it.

Error: fragmented sentences and unclear pronoun reference. Reason: 'Zebra pop dance music.' is a fragment and 'I listen' lacks object. Suggestion: Combine into a full sentence and include object: 'I like zebra pop dance music and I listen to it.'

× Yes, happy music get me much more excited.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me much more excited.

Error: subject-verb agreement and verb form. Reason: 'happy music' is singular so need 'makes' (third person singular). Also use 'makes me much more excited' instead of 'get me'. Suggestion: Use 'makes' for singular subject.

× When I drive a car to the office in the morning.

✓ When I drive to the office in the morning, I listen to music.

Error: sentence fragment (dependent clause without main clause). Reason: 'When' clause must be followed by main clause. Suggestion: Add main clause to complete thought: 'When I drive to the office in the morning, I listen to music.'

× I I sometime I listen to happy music like pop dance music.

✓ Sometimes I listen to happy music like pop dance music.

Error: repetition and adverb placement. Reason: 'I I' duplicated and 'sometime' should be plural adverb 'sometimes' placed before main verb. Suggestion: Use 'Sometimes I listen to...'.

× I'm getting excited and I feel very happy.

✓ I get excited and feel very happy.

Error: inconsistent tense choice. Reason: For habitual reactions use simple present rather than present continuous. Suggestion: Use simple present: 'I get excited and feel very happy.'

× No, I haven't take any music class Umm, I wish I've had had some music class or like guitar and uh, singing a song.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes. I wish I had had some music lessons, like guitar and singing.

Error: incorrect past participle and tense usage. Reason: After 'haven't' use past participle 'taken'. 'Music class' should be plural 'music classes' or 'music lessons'. The wish about the past uses 'I wish I had had' to indicate regret. Suggestion: Use 'haven't taken' and 'I wish I had had some music lessons.'

× But I bring soccer and I study English instead.

✓ But I played soccer and studied English instead.

Error: wrong verb 'bring' and tense inconsistency. Reason: Likely meaning was past habitual activities; use past tense 'played' and 'studied' to match earlier regret. Suggestion: Use appropriate past verbs: 'I played soccer and studied English instead.'

× Yes, I listen to the music while I drive a car to the commute, uh, to the soccer field.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while I drive to the soccer field.

Error: unnecessary definite article and awkward phrasing. Reason: 'the music' is fine but general 'music' is more natural; 'drive a car to the commute' is incorrect. Suggestion: Simplify to 'I listen to music while I drive to the soccer field.'

× Because if I music, I listen to music I make.

✓ Because when I listen to music, it makes me feel good and upbeat.

Error: fragmented and ungrammatical clause. Reason: 'if I music' and 'I listen to music I make' are incorrect structures. Suggestion: Use 'When I listen to music, it makes me feel good and upbeat.'

× It makes me feel good and upbeat.

✓ It makes me feel good and upbeat.

Error: none; sentence is correct. Reason: 'It makes me feel good and upbeat' correctly uses third person singular verb 'makes' with pronoun 'it'. No change needed.