Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and vary vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples and a brief reason. Avoid repetition (e.g. "sad" and "depressing") and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I usually choose music to match my mood. For example, when I'm sad I prefer slow, melancholic ballads that help me reflect, whereas when I'm happy I listen to upbeat pop or dance tracks to boost my energy.

提案: Give a direct answer then expand with a short reason and an example. Avoid conditional repetition and aim for one clear supporting detail using a linking word like "because" or "for instance."

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because its fast tempo and lively melody lift my spirits; for instance, I often feel energized when I hear upbeat songs on my commute.

提案: Organize into a concise topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Replace casual phrases like "like 3 years old" with precise language, and use a linking word to show progression.

例: Yes, I've studied piano since I was three because my parents believed it provides a strong musical foundation. Recently I also began vocal lessons to improve my singing and hope to develop better technique.

提案: Provide a clear opening sentence with a specific frequency, then give two brief examples of activities and a reason. Avoid informal fillers like "like" and quantify when possible.

例: Yes, I listen to music for most of the day—around 80% of the time. For example, I often play music while walking alone and while studying, but I always remove my headphones when speaking with someone to show respect.

× playing piano is the basic of all the musical instruments.

✓ playing the piano is the basis of all musical instruments.

'the basic of' is incorrect here. Use the noun 'basis' to mean foundation, and use 'the piano' because musical instruments often take the definite article when speaking generally about the instrument; also pluralize 'musical instruments' without 'the'. Suggestion: use 'playing the piano is the basis of all musical instruments.'

× I just started learning singing and I hope I will get better at it.

✓ I just started learning to sing and I hope I will get better at it.

'learning singing' is not the correct verb pattern. After 'learning' you can use a gerund (learning singing) but native usage prefers 'learning to sing' or 'learning singing' is awkward. Use the infinitive 'to sing' here. The rest of the sentence tense is fine. Suggestion: use 'learning to sing.'

× It's for like 80% of my day.

✓ It fills about 80% of my day.

'It's for like 80% of my day' is informal and uses 'for' awkwardly. Better verbs are 'fills' or 'takes up' with quantifier 'about' for approximation; avoid filler 'like' in formal speech. Suggestion: say 'It fills about 80% of my day.'

× I listen to it while I'm walking when I'm alone, but I often take my headphones out to respect the person I am talking to at the moment.

✓ I listen to it while I'm walking when I'm alone, but I often take my headphones out to show respect to the person I'm talking to at the moment.

'to respect the person' is not the typical collocation in English; we say 'show respect to' or 'respect' + object without 'to' in some contexts. Also 'I am talking' can be contracted to 'I'm talking' for natural speech. Suggestion: use 'take my headphones out to show respect to the person I'm talking to.'

× playing piano is the basic of all the musical instruments.

✓ playing the piano is the basis of all musical instruments.

This repeats the first correction but emphasizes subject-verb agreement and article use: 'playing the piano' is treated as a singular noun phrase and 'is' is correct; main issue was article and noun choice. Suggestion: use 'the piano' and 'basis' as corrected.