Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition and make a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid filler words. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me feel energetic. For example, when I listen to upbeat songs I feel more motivated to exercise or work, so I choose happy music most of the time.

提案: Make the answer more concise and remove repeated phrases. Start with a direct statement, then give one specific effect and an example. Use a linking word to connect the effect and example.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited and confident. For instance, when I play upbeat songs before a presentation, I feel energized and ready to perform well.

提案: Finish your sentences and avoid trailing off. Give a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details (when and what you learned), and a brief conclusion. Use linking words like 'however' to show contrast.

例: Yes, I took drumming lessons when I was a child. However, that was about ten years ago and I no longer practice, so I have forgotten most techniques and reading musical notation.

提案: Combine the two ideas into a cohesive answer with a linking word and give a specific example of an activity. Keep it natural and avoid tense inconsistencies.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working or studying because it helps me stay calm and focused. For example, I play soft instrumental tracks when I study and upbeat songs when I need a confidence boost before meetings.

× It depends on my mood because when I'm sad I feel like I I can't listen to happy music and and it's work on other way when I'm happy I can't listen to sad music so but I guess happy music is way better than sad.

✓ It depends on my mood, because when I'm sad I feel like I can't listen to happy music, and it works the other way when I'm happy: I can't listen to sad music, so I guess happy music is much better than sad.

Errors: repeated words ('I I', 'and and'), incorrect phrase 'it's work on other way' and awkward connectors. Problem falls under 'Verb in the present participle form' because 'work' needs the third-person singular present form 'works'. Also suggestions address sentence cohesion and fluidity. Improve by removing duplicates, using correct verb form 'works', adding commas and a clearer connector, and using 'much better' for natural comparison.

× Yes, happy music affects me because when I listen to upbeat happy music and I feel like I feel like I have more confidence and I'm ready to do anything in this world.

✓ Yes, happy music affects me, because when I listen to upbeat, happy music I feel like I have more confidence and I'm ready to do anything in this world.

Errors: repeated phrase 'I feel like I feel like' and punctuation. Classified as 'Verb in the present participle form' because the gerund/participle structure is misused through repetition and poor clause joining; the correction removes duplication and fixes clause flow. Improve by deleting the repeated phrase and adding a comma after 'upbeat'.

× Yes, I used to play drums when I was little. It was 10 years ago, so now I don't remember how to play and I don't understand notes. But then I just used to like energetic music, so I.

✓ Yes, I used to play the drums when I was little. It was about ten years ago, so now I don't remember how to play and I don't understand musical notation. Back then I just liked energetic music.

Errors: missing article before 'drums' and awkward phrasing 'used to like' combined with 'then' and sentence fragment ending 'so I.' Classified as 'Past tense issue' because 'used to' and past preferences need consistent past tense: 'Back then I just liked energetic music.' Also 'notes' is better expressed as 'musical notation.' Improve by adding 'the', using 'about ten years ago', converting fragment into complete sentence, and keeping past tense consistent.

× Yes, I often listen to music because it helps me to feel calm and organized. Sometimes I listen to energetic music because it's helped me to be confident.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music because it helps me feel calm and organized. Sometimes I listen to energetic music because it helps me to feel more confident.

Errors: mixed tenses 'it's helped' (present perfect) conflicts with habitual present 'I sometimes listen'. Classified as 'Present tense issue' because the sentence should use present simple ('helps') for habitual effects. Improve by using 'helps' and adding 'more' for natural phrasing; also remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me'.