Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting reasons. Avoid repetition and incorrect word forms (e.g., "it gives me it makes me relax"). Use linking words like "because" and "however." Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer sad songs because they help me relax when I feel tired or lonely. For example, slow melodies and gentle vocals calm my thoughts and let me reflect. However, I sometimes listen to upbeat music if I need energy.

提案: Answer directly and concisely, then give a clear reason with correct phrasing. Avoid contradictions and unclear words ("as much as a pathetic"). Use linking words like "because" and "so" to connect ideas.

例: No, not really, because happy music often feels too energetic for me and doesn’t help me relax. I prefer sad songs since their slower tempo calms me and helps me unwind.

提案: Use a clear past or present perfect tense for experience questions. Start with a direct answer, then briefly explain why with one specific detail. Avoid repeating the same idea.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because I’m not very interested in learning an instrument. I usually just listen to music at night to relax, so I haven’t felt the need to take lessons.

提案: Begin with a direct yes/no or short statement, then give specific examples of activities and explain why. Use correct pronouns and concise linking words (e.g., "for example," "because"). Avoid unclear phrases like "He adds up effort."

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things, for example when I’m cooking for my family. It helps me concentrate on the task and makes the time more enjoyable.

× I really prefer sad songs because it gives me it makes me relax even I feel alone or tired.

✓ I really prefer sad songs because they make me relax when I feel alone or tired.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and repeats verbs. 'Songs' is plural, so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'make' (subject-verb agreement). Remove redundant phrase 'it gives me it makes me'. Also use 'when' instead of 'even' for correct temporal connection.

× I usually prefer that songs because the beat of that song is too much delightful as compared to the happy music.

✓ I usually prefer those songs because the beat of those songs is more delightful than happy music.

'That songs' is incorrect: use 'those songs' for plural. 'Too much delightful' is ungrammatical; use comparative 'more delightful'. Use 'than' for comparison rather than 'as compared to'. Ensure plurality agreement between 'those' and 'songs'.

× Sometime happy music is not good for healing the pain even sad.

✓ Sometimes happy music is not good for healing pain; sad music can be better for that.

Use 'Sometimes' (adverb) not 'Sometime'. The phrase 'healing the pain even sad' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to show contrast: 'sad music can be better for that.' Remove unnecessary article 'the' before 'pain' unless referring to specific pain.

× No I don't think so because I most prefer to listen some sad songs as compared to happy songs because it feels me more relaxed and makes me feel good as compared to while listening happy music I am not feeling as much as a pathetic.

✓ No, I don't think so because I mostly prefer to listen to sad songs rather than happy ones; they make me feel more relaxed and better, while happy music does not make me feel as comforted.

Errors: 'most prefer' should be 'mostly prefer' (adverb). 'Listen some' needs 'listen to some' or 'listen to'. 'As compared to' is wordy; use 'rather than'. 'Feels me' is incorrect; use 'they make me feel'. 'As much as a pathetic' is ungrammatical; replace with 'as comforted' or 'as good'. This corrects modal and verb usage and improves clarity.

× No, I really don't take any music classes because I'm not too much fascinated with the music.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes because I'm not very fascinated by music.

The question asks about experience; use present perfect 'haven't taken' instead of simple present 'don't take'. 'Not too much fascinated' is unnatural; use 'not very fascinated'. Use preposition 'by' with 'fascinated' and drop article 'the' before 'music' when speaking generally.

× I usually prefer to listen some song at night which makes me relax and feel happy even I'm alone.

✓ I usually prefer to listen to some songs at night that help me relax and feel happy even when I'm alone.

'Listen some song' is incorrect: use 'listen to some songs' or 'a song'. Use plural 'songs' to match 'some'. Use 'that help' for plural 'songs'. Replace 'even I'm alone' with 'even when I'm alone' for correct clause.

× I mostly prefer to listen some music.

✓ I mostly prefer to listen to music.

Add preposition 'to' after 'listen'. 'Some' is unnecessary when speaking generally; remove it or use 'some music' with 'listen to some music'. Ensure verb phrase is correct: 'prefer to listen to'.

× I'm not taking any classes.

✓ I am not taking any classes.

Grammar is acceptable, but ensure tense matches context. If discussing current situation, 'I am not taking any classes' is correct. If referring to past experience, use 'I haven't taken any classes.' Keep consistent tense with previous sentence.

× He adds up effort to listen the music while doing other things like whenever I'm cooking something for me and for my family, I prefer to listen to me.

✓ I try to make an effort to listen to music while doing other things; for example, when I'm cooking for myself and my family, I prefer to listen to music.

'He adds up effort' is incorrect subject and phrasing; should be 'I try to make an effort'. 'Listen the music' needs preposition 'to'. 'Cooking something for me and for my family' is awkward; use 'cooking for myself and my family'. 'I prefer to listen to me' is incorrect; replace with 'I prefer to listen to music.'

× It requires soon because it is helpful for me to focus on my work and I feel entertaining while listening this song.

✓ I do it because it helps me focus on my work and I feel entertained while listening to the songs.

'It requires soon' is meaningless here; replace with 'I do it' or 'I listen because'. Use 'helps me' rather than 'is helpful for me to'. 'Feel entertaining' is incorrect; use 'feel entertained'. Add preposition 'to' after 'listening' and use plural 'songs' or 'a song' consistently.