Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce filler words (umm, uh), make the response more concise and natural, and add one specific example to support why happy music boosts your mood. Keep under five sentences and use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: I prefer happy music because it has an uplifting melody that boosts my mood. For example, upbeat pop songs with bright rhythms help me feel energetic after a long day.

提案: Avoid short fragmented answers and fillers; combine the ideas into a single coherent sentence and add a specific effect or situation showing how it excites you. Use a linking word (e.g., because, so) correctly.

例: Yes, it does because catchy rhythms and light-hearted lyrics lift my spirits, so I often feel more energetic and ready to socialize after listening to it.

提案: Correct grammar (future intention and passive/active forms), remove repetition, and be specific about timing or reasons. Keep it to one or two sentences and use a linking word like 'but' or 'so'.

例: No, I haven't taken music classes, but I plan to buy a guitar next year and enroll in lessons so I can learn basic chords and play my favorite songs.

提案: Avoid fillers and correct verb forms; be specific about activities and frequency, and use linking words for clarity (for example, while, when). Limit to two sentences max.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores. For example, I play my favorite playlist when I'm cooking or vacuuming because it makes these tasks more enjoyable.

× If I have to choose, I would prefer happy music UMM because umm it provides me UMM with good melody and can boost my mood up.

✓ If I have to choose, I would prefer happy music because it provides me with a good melody and can boost my mood.

The original contains an unnecessary extra word 'UMM' and an awkward phrase 'mood up'. Remove filler words and use the correct collocation 'boost my mood' (do not add 'up'). Also add the indefinite article 'a' before 'good melody' for naturalness.

× Yes, absolutely. Uh, because happy music provides me umm, catchy rhythm and funny lyrics so it umm, perfectly make my day.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Because happy music provides me with a catchy rhythm and funny lyrics, it perfectly makes my day.

The sentence lacks the particle 'with' after 'provides me' and has subject-verb agreement error: 'it make' should be 'it makes' (third person singular). Also remove filler words and add commas for clarity.

× No, I haven't taken any musical classes before, but in the future I want to buy a guitar and want to go to a class where I be taught how to play a guitar.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes before, but in the future I want to buy a guitar and go to a class where I will be taught how to play it.

Use 'music classes' rather than 'musical classes' for natural phrasing. Change 'be taught' to the future passive 'will be taught' to match 'in the future'. Also avoid repeating 'want to' and replace 'play a guitar' with 'play it' to avoid repetition.

× Yes, absolutely. I always listen to music umm, while I do another thing, uh, for example, I always umm, choose my favorite song and then, uh, cooking or vacuum the house.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I always listen to music while I do other things. For example, I choose my favorite song and then cook or vacuum the house.

Replace 'another thing' with 'other things' for natural expression and use the base verbs 'cook' and 'vacuum' after 'then' to form parallel structure. Remove filler words. Ensure verb forms are consistent and the sentence is split for clarity.