Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I usually choose music that matches my mood.”) Then give one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repeating the same idea and filler words.

例: I usually choose music that matches my mood. For example, when I’m feeling sad I prefer slow, mellow songs because they help me relax and reflect.

提案: Give a clear yes/no answer and briefly explain why with one or two supporting details. Use linking words (e.g., “because” or “for example”) and avoid repetition and filler words like “umm.”

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more energetic because the fast tempo and cheerful lyrics lift my mood. For example, I often feel motivated to dance or exercise when I listen to upbeat pop songs.

提案: Answer directly and give specific, accurate details. State when and what kind of music classes you took, and include one brief detail about what you learned. Avoid unclear words and repetition.

例: Yes, I took music classes in primary school where we learned basic music theory and how to sing in a choir. I remember practicing rhythm exercises and learning to read simple notes.

提案: Provide a clear statement about frequency, then give a concise reason and an example using a linking word like “because” or “so.” Reduce hesitation and repetition.

例: Sometimes, but I usually avoid music when I study because it distracts me from concentrating. However, I might listen to instrumental music while cleaning to stay relaxed.

× It depends on my mood, but right now I'm feeling sad. So yeah, it depends on my mood. If I feel sad, then yeah, sad.

✓ It depends on my mood, but right now I'm feeling sad. So yes, it depends on my mood. If I feel sad, I prefer sad music.

Repeated phrases and informal fillers do not change tense but clarity is needed. Use present simple for habitual preference ('I prefer sad music') and present continuous for current feeling ('I'm feeling sad'). Replace 'then yeah, sad' with a clear noun phrase to complete the idea.

× Of course, since it's a happy music, I'm feeling more excited and all excited, excited excitement and umm, happy. Enjoy.

✓ Of course, because it's happy music, I feel more excited and enjoy it.

'Music' is an uncountable noun so do not use the indefinite article 'a'; use 'happy music'. Use 'because' instead of 'since' for causal clarity. Avoid repetition and noun misuse: 'excited excitement' is redundant. Use simple present 'I feel' for general reactions and 'enjoy it' to express enjoyment.

× Actually, since I was in grade school, I have a subject that related to music, which is the mappy subject and it is a curriculum in in our.

✓ Actually, since I was in grade school, I had a subject related to music, which was part of our curriculum.

When referring to a past situation that began and ended in the past ('since I was in grade school'), use past tense ('had', 'was'). 'Related to' requires correct verb form without 'that' following 'subject'; use 'a subject related to music'. 'Part of our curriculum' is the correct phrase. Remove duplicate 'in in' and unclear word 'mappy'.

× Sometimes, but I prefer not to listen to music since I'm kinda I I'm distracted when I'm doing something then.

✓ Sometimes, but I prefer not to listen to music because I get distracted when I'm doing something.

Use 'because' for clear cause. Avoid colloquial fillers ('kinda I I'm') and use present simple 'I get distracted' to express a habitual reaction. 'When I'm doing something' is sufficient; remove trailing 'then'.