Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Réduisez les répétitions et améliorez la structure : commencez par une phrase claire répondant directement à la question, puis ajoutez une brève justification avec un exemple concret. Évitez les doublons (« the the ») et remplacez les généralisations par des détails précis.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me enjoy my free time. For example, upbeat pop songs with catchy rhythms make me feel more energetic when I'm walking to class.

提案: Utilisez un registre plus naturel et évitez les répétitions numériques et lexicales. Commencez par une affirmation claire, puis expliquez brièvement pourquoi en donnant un exemple précis et en utilisant un mot de liaison.

例: Yes, definitely. The strong beats and lively vibe of happy songs energize me, and catchy lyrics make me want to sing along — for instance, I often feel pumped listening to dance tracks before exercising.

提案: Corrigez la grammaire et la formulation : employez le présent parfait correctement et simplifiez la raison. Ajoutez un détail pour montrer réflexion (par exemple, mentionner interest in learning in future).

例: No, I have never taken any music classes because I prefer listening to music rather than playing instruments. However, I might take a beginner guitar course someday to try playing along with my favourite songs.

提案: Organisez la réponse: commencez par une sentence générale, utilisez des mots de liaison pour contraster (e.g., "however"), et évitez les hésitations. Donnez exemples concrets des situations où vous écoutez ou non de la musique.

例: It depends. I don't usually listen to music when I'm studying or doing formal work because it distracts me. However, I do listen to music while commuting in the car or when I'm relaxing at home to unwind.

× I prefer happy music because it makes me happy, I enjoy my time unlike the the sad one, it makes me depressed.

✓ I prefer happy music because it makes me happy; I enjoy my time. Unlike sad music, it makes me depressed.

The original sentence uses a redundant definite article and repetition ('the the sad one') and runs sentences together. Remove the extra 'the' and change 'the sad one' to 'sad music' for general reference. Also separate ideas into two sentences or use a semicolon to improve clarity. Use articles only when referring to a specific item; here 'sad music' is a general category, so no 'the' is needed.

× 100% yes, because of the beats and the the vibe and the lyrics, it makes me very, very excited.

✓ Yes, definitely, because of the beats, the vibe, and the lyrics; they make me very excited.

This sentence had repeated 'the the' and mixed singular/plural reference ('it makes me...') while listing plural nouns. Use 'they' to refer to the plural items (beats, vibe, lyrics). Remove repetition and use commas for lists. Also avoid '100% yes' in spoken corrective form; 'Yes, definitely' is more natural.

× No, I never had taken any music classes because I I prefer listen to music, not play the music.

✓ No, I have never taken any music classes because I prefer to listen to music, not play it.

The original mixes past perfect ('had taken') incorrectly with 'never' for a life experience; present perfect ('have never taken') is appropriate. Also fix repetition 'I I', add 'to' after 'prefer' when followed by a verb ('prefer to listen'), and replace 'the music' with 'it' to avoid unnecessary article use. These changes match tense and natural collocation.

× It depends if uh I study or I work. No I don't listen to music when uh I do official thing but when I was umm. But when I be in the car or just relaxing, yes.

✓ It depends on whether I am studying or working. I don't listen to music when I am doing official work, but I do when I am in the car or just relaxing.

Use 'depends on whether' not 'depends if'. Use present continuous 'I am studying/working' for current habitual situations. 'Official thing' is vague; 'official work' or 'work' is clearer. 'When I was umm' is incorrect tense and fragmentary; replace with consistent present continuous 'when I am in the car'. 'When I be' is nonstandard; use 'I am'. These corrections improve grammar, tense consistency, and clarity.