Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and avoid awkward phrases (e.g. "saves our emotions", "la light"). Use correct grammar (e.g. "listening to happy music, my mood becomes light and joyful").

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood. For example, upbeat pop songs make me feel energetic and ready to start the day, while cheerful melodies help me relax after work.

提案: Answer directly, then provide one clear reason with a specific example. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid repeating the same idea. Replace vague phrases like "other forms of sound" with concrete descriptions (rhythm, tempo).

例: Yes, it does. Upbeat rhythms and fast tempos stimulate my energy and make me feel excited; for instance, listening to dance music before exercising boosts my motivation.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer and add a specific detail about what you tried and why it was difficult. Avoid filler words and mention future plans if relevant.

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes, but I'd like to. I tried learning guitar from YouTube tutorials, but I found finger positioning difficult, so I stopped; next year I plan to enroll in a beginner class to improve.

提案: Give a direct answer and one or two specific examples of activities when you listen to music. Avoid unclear expressions like "remove the body" and reduce hesitations. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "for instance", "because").

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying and cooking because it helps me concentrate and lifts my spirits; for instance, calm instrumental tracks help me focus when I'm reading, while upbeat songs make washing dishes more enjoyable.

× If I'm uh listening to a happy music, my moods becomes la light and joyful.

✓ If I'm listening to happy music, my mood becomes light and joyful.

Use no article before uncountable noun 'music' ('a' is incorrect). 'Moods' should be singular 'mood' to match the general state. 'becomes la' contains an extraneous 'la' likely a filler; remove it.

× Yes, it does. Happy music have, uh, tones and other forms of sound that influences our brain to correspond to excited feelings.

✓ Yes, it does. Happy music has tones and other sounds that influence our brain to correspond to excited feelings.

Subject 'music' is uncountable singular, so use 'has' not 'have' (subject-verb agreement). Use plural verb 'influence' to agree with plural subject 'tones and other sounds'. 'forms of sound' is wordy; 'sounds' is clearer.

× No I have not taken any music classes but I really want to do so.

✓ No, I have not taken any music classes, but I really want to.

Grammatically this sentence is acceptable but needs punctuation. Keep present perfect 'have not taken' for experience up to now. Remove unnecessary 'do so' for natural phrasing.

× I have uh tried learning guitar from YouTube but it was really hard for me so I quit it.

✓ I tried learning guitar from YouTube, but it was really hard for me, so I quit.

Use simple past 'tried' and 'quit' to describe completed past actions. 'Quit it' is redundant—'quit' sufficiently indicates stopping. Add commas for clarity.

× Yes, I do listen to music while performing other tasks.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while performing other tasks.

'Do' auxiliary is not required for simple present affirmative sentences unless for emphasis. Removing 'do' yields more natural phrasing.

× It uh, helps me to ease the tasks and uh, remove the body.

✓ It helps me with tasks and relax my body.

'Ease the tasks' is awkward; use 'helps me with tasks' or 'makes tasks easier.' 'Remove the body' is incorrect; likely intended 'relax my body.' Use verb 'relax' with correct object.

× I feel joyful and uh, I enjoy the doing uh work while listening to music.

✓ I feel joyful, and I enjoy doing work while listening to music.

Remove unnecessary article 'the' before 'doing' and extra filler words. Use 'enjoy doing work' (gerund) instead of 'enjoy the doing work.' Add comma for clarity.