Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Giảm các tiếng ấp úng (umm, uh) và nói mạch lạc hơn; mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng; dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, when..., whereas...); cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể ngắn gọn (ví dụ thể loại bạn thích trong từng cảm xúc) và giữ tối đa 4-5 câu. Hãy luyện nói lưu loát và cấu trúc: 1 câu chủ đề + 1-2 câu hỗ trợ.

例: I like both sad and happy music, but it depends on my mood. For example, when I'm feeling down I usually choose mellow acoustic or ballads to relax. Whereas when I'm cheerful I prefer upbeat pop or EDM to boost my energy.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lặp từ và sửa ngữ pháp (e.g., "I'm very into listening to music"); dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích với ví dụ; hạn chế câu quá dài và ngắt nghỉ phù hợp; dùng từ vựng chính xác (exciting, energetic).

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited. I'm very into energetic tracks, so when I hear upbeat K-pop or EDM I often dance and follow the rhythm, which lifts my mood quickly.

提案: Cải thiện: Trình bày rõ ràng về thời gian và nội dung lớp học; tránh sửa lỗi giữa câu; dùng từ chính xác (taught, basic theory, scales, notation); cung cấp 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể về điều bạn học được. Giữ cấu trúc: câu chủ đề + câu giải thích.

例: Yes, I took basic music classes in primary and secondary school. They weren't professional lessons, but I learned music theory basics such as musical notation, scales and vocal range, which helped me understand songs better.

提案: Cải thiện: Nói gọn và mạch lạc: trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích lý do ngắn gọn; tránh các từ đệm không cần thiết; thêm ví dụ cụ thể về loại công việc khiến bạn tắt nhạc. Giữ tối đa 3 câu.

例: Yes, I usually listen to music while doing tasks like cleaning or commuting. However, when I need to concentrate on important work or study, I turn the music off to focus better.

× I actually like both umm, and also it depends on the situation.

✓ I actually like both, and it also depends on the situation.

The original sentence is mostly fine but contains unnecessary filler and punctuation; no present participle issue—however maintain clarity by removing extra 'and' after the comma. Suggestion: remove redundant conjunction to make sentence grammatical and fluent.

× Uh, whenever I'm feeling sad, I listen to sad music, when I feel happy, uh, and would listen to some uh, hyper uh, what cheerful type of music more?

✓ Whenever I'm feeling sad, I listen to sad music; when I feel happy, I listen to more cheerful or upbeat music.

The original has run-on and incomplete verb phrase 'would listen' without subject, and clumsy filler words. Fix by making two parallel clauses with clear verbs. Suggestion: use a semicolon or separate sentences and replace filler with precise adjectives like 'cheerful' or 'upbeat'.

× Yes, most of the time I actually umm very into listening music and uh music inspires me a lot uh whenever you listen to more uh excited type of song, I also dance and uh feel the rhythm well, of course I actually listen to a lot of like K pop or EDM music, which is actually very fun and.

✓ Yes, most of the time I am actually very into listening to music, and music inspires me a lot. Whenever I listen to more exciting songs, I also dance and feel the rhythm. Of course, I listen to a lot of K-pop or EDM, which I find very fun.

Errors: missing auxiliary 'am' after 'I', incorrect verb form 'listening music' should be 'listening to music', adjective form 'excited' should be 'exciting' to describe songs, awkward run-on sentence. Suggestion: include the verb 'am' for 'be' + adjective, use 'listening to', use 'exciting' for things that cause excitement, and split into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Uh, yes, I did during umm, elementary school and secondary school, but it's not any professional training, but it's just a teach.

✓ Yes, I did during elementary and secondary school, but it was not professional training; it just taught me basic music theory.

Problems: tense mismatch and wrong noun/verb forms. 'It's not any professional training' should be 'it was not professional training' to match past time; 'it's just a teach' is ungrammatical—use 'it just taught me' or 'it was just basic teaching'. Suggestion: use past tense 'was' and correct verb 'taught' or noun 'teaching', and specify 'basic music theory' for clarity.

× No, sorry. It's taught me very basic understanding of umm, the, the, the theories of music, like uh, notes, umm, well, ranges or whatever that is.

✓ It taught me a very basic understanding of music theory, such as notes and ranges.

The phrase 'It's taught me' is present perfect and awkward in this context; past simple 'It taught me' suits past schooling. Also 'theories of music' is better 'music theory', and remove fillers. Suggestion: use past simple and concise terminology.

× Yes, I do. Well most of the time. Uh, but when I will I when I really need to focus deeply in the work, I often turn off the music to like, well, to umm, focus entirely on the job better.

✓ Yes, I do, most of the time. But when I really need to focus deeply on my work, I often turn off the music to concentrate entirely on the job.

Errors: incorrect future marker 'will' inserted unnecessarily; wrong preposition 'in the work' should be 'on my work'; awkward infinitive phrase 'to like, well, to umm, focus' — use 'to concentrate'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'will', use 'focus on my work', and choose concise verb 'concentrate'.