Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct grammar, and give a clear reason with a supporting detail. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example. Avoid repetition and filler words.

例: I prefer sad music. I find it calming and it helps me process my emotions after a long day; for example, I often listen to acoustic ballads when I’m winding down in the evening.

提案: Answer directly, then contrast briefly using a linking word. Use correct pronouns and clearer vocabulary to compare feelings. Limit to two or three short sentences.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited. However, I still prefer sad music because it feels more reflective and better matches my mood.

提案: Give a direct answer and briefly explain with a specific reason. Remove hesitations and unnecessary words. One or two supporting details are enough.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because I’m not very interested in playing instruments. I prefer listening to music rather than learning to perform it.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no and state when you listen to music using specific activities. Use linking words for coherence and avoid fillers. Provide one concrete example of a situation.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things, for example when I’m showering or cleaning. Listening to music makes those tasks more enjoyable and helps me relax.

× I prefer always sad music because I listen sad music lots of time because I like it and it will.

✓ I always prefer sad music because I listen to sad music a lot of the time; I like it and it helps me.

This sentence has multiple issues: adverb placement ('always' should come before the main verb or immediately after 'I'), missing preposition ('listen to'), incorrect quantifier phrase ('lots of time' should be 'a lot of the time'), and an unclear ending ('it will' is incomplete). Fix by placing adverbs correctly, adding required prepositions, using natural quantifiers, and completing the idea (e.g., 'it helps me').

× Yes, happy music, you make me feel more excited, but I like sad music more than happy music and happy music is a very light, full music, and it's the.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited, but I like sad music more than happy music; happy music is very light and upbeat.

Problems: incorrect address to 'you' (should refer to 'happy music' as subject), subject-verb agreement ('happy music makes'), awkward adjectives/order ('very light, full music' is unnatural), and an incomplete clause ('it's the'). Correct by using the noun as subject with proper verb form, choosing appropriate adjectives and completing the thought. Use a semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× No, I have not taken any music classes. Umm, I am actually uh, not interested in music. That's why I don't want to learn uh, music plus.

✓ No, I have not taken any music classes. I'm actually not interested in music; that's why I don't want to learn music.

Main issues: 'music plus' is unclear and likely wrong word choice; unnecessary fillers should be removed. Present perfect 'have not taken' is correct. Improve by removing fillers and using clear phrasing ('learn music' or 'learn about music').

× Yes, I listen music and while doing many things, uh, I umm, take shower, uh, when I listen music that uh, that is more interesting for me and when I am uh, no working at.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while doing many things; for example, I take a shower while listening to music because it is more interesting for me, and I also listen when I am not working.

Errors: missing preposition with 'listen' ('listen to music'), poor sentence structure and run-on fragments, incorrect 'no working at' for 'not working'. Fix by adding 'to', restructuring into clear clauses, using 'not working' and giving a concise reason.