Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, yeah), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep it under 4–5 sentences and use consistent capitalization and phrasing.

例: I prefer happy music because it boosts my energy and helps me relax. For example, upbeat songs cheer me up after a long day, while I only choose sad songs occasionally when I’m feeling low.

提案: Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Give one concise answer, then add a specific example using linking words. Replace awkward or redundant words (e.g., "more progress progressively") with clear expressions of effect on mood and behavior.

例: Yes — happy music energizes me and helps me concentrate. For instance, when I walk in the park with headphones, upbeat tracks lift my mood and make me feel more productive afterwards.

提案: Use correct tense and smoother phrasing. Start with a direct answer, then explain plans and reasons with clear linking words. Remove hesitations and fix grammar (e.g., "I have never taken" not "I never take").

例: No, I have never taken music classes, but I plan to in the future because I enjoy piano music. For example, hearing piano pieces makes me feel inspired, so I want to learn to play to recreate that feeling myself.

提案: Be specific and correct vocabulary (e.g., "airpods/headphones" not "airports"). Structure answer: state habit, then give two brief examples with linking words. Avoid repetition like "always" and fix grammar.

例: Yes, I usually listen to music while doing other things. For example, I wear headphones at home when doing household chores, and I play playlists while I walk in the park to make my exercise more enjoyable.

× I prefer happy music over sad music because, uh, happy music gives me energy, relaxation, Peace of Mind and I feel very comforting while I listen to happy music.

✓ I prefer happy music to sad music because happy music gives me energy, relaxation and peace of mind, and I feel very comforted when I listen to it.

Errors: 'prefer X over Y' is acceptable but 'prefer X to Y' is more idiomatic; 'Peace of Mind' should be lowercase 'peace of mind'; 'I feel very comforting' is incorrect because 'comforting' describes something that causes comfort, while the speaker experiences the feeling, so use the adjective 'comforted'; use 'when I listen to it' rather than 'while I listen to happy music' to avoid repetition and improve flow.

× Yeah, but there are some days when I prefer sad music also that are my down days when I feel sad.

✓ However, there are some days when I prefer sad music because those are my down days when I feel sad.

The original has awkward clause order and redundant connectors. 'Also that are' is ungrammatical. Reordering to 'because those are my down days' clarifies cause and fixes sentence structure.

× Yes, definitely. Happy music always makes me feel very excited and very relaxed.

✓ Yes, definitely. Happy music always makes me feel both excited and relaxed.

Redundant use of 'very' twice is stylistically weak. Use 'both' to link the two adjectives and avoid awkward repetition; adverb placement 'very excited and very relaxed' is grammatical but can be improved for concision and naturalness.

× Whenever I go to parks, whenever I sit alone, I always put my headphones and start listening happy music.

✓ Whenever I go to the park or sit alone, I always put on my headphones and start listening to happy music.

Problems: 'go to parks' should be 'go to the park' or 'go to parks' depending on generality; combine repeated 'whenever' clauses; use the phrasal verb 'put on' for headphones; 'listening happy music' requires the preposition 'to' ('listening to happy music').

× I feel more energetic to work more progress progressively and productively.

✓ I feel more energetic and work more progressively and productively.

Original has redundant and incorrect phrasing. 'Energetic to work' is awkward; use 'feel more energetic and work more...'. 'Progress' as a noun doesn't fit; use 'progressively' as an adverb. Keep 'progressively and productively' to describe how you work.

× No, I never take any music classes.

✓ No, I have never taken any music classes.

Talking about life experience up to now requires present perfect: 'have never taken' rather than simple present 'never take'.

× Uh, but yeah, I'm planning to take music classes in future.

✓ But yes, I'm planning to take music classes in the future.

'In future' is a nonstandard phrase; use 'in the future'. Also 'yeah' is informal; 'yes' is more appropriate in a test. Present continuous 'I'm planning' is correct for planned future actions.

× I like to play piano.

✓ I like to play the piano.

When referring to musical instruments, English uses the definite article 'the' before the instrument: 'play the piano'.

× I always uh, overwhelmed whenever I listen any piano music.

✓ I always feel overwhelmed whenever I listen to piano music.

Missing verb 'feel' before 'overwhelmed' and missing preposition 'to' after 'listen'. 'Piano music' is fine; use 'feel overwhelmed' to express experience.

× So yeah, I'm, I'm considering myself to take classes to, to learn how to play piano.

✓ So I'm considering taking classes to learn how to play the piano.

Unnecessary reflexive 'myself' and repeated hesitations removed; 'considering taking classes' is the correct structure; include 'the' before 'piano'.

× Yes, I always listen to music while I'm at home or in parks while I go for walks.

✓ Yes, I always listen to music when I'm at home or when I go for walks in the park.

Preposition and article issues: 'in parks' should be 'in the park' or 'when I go for walks in the park'; avoid repeating 'while'—use 'when' for clarity.

× When I'm home I'm doing household chores and many other household work.

✓ When I'm at home, I do household chores and many other tasks.

Tense and verb form: use simple present 'I do' for habitual actions. 'Household work' is uncountable but awkward; 'tasks' is better. Add 'at' before home.

× I always put airports in my ear to listen new and fresh music.

✓ I always put earphones in my ears to listen to new and fresh music.

The word 'airports' is incorrect; likely meant 'earphones' or 'airpods'; use plural 'ears' and the verb phrase 'listen to'; include articles as needed.

× And whenever I go to parks I always, uh, walk and listen music.

✓ And whenever I go to the park, I always walk and listen to music.

Use 'the park' for habitual place, and 'listen to music' requires the preposition 'to'. Removed filler 'uh' and fixed punctuation.