Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific supporting details (genres or examples) using linking words. Also correct simple grammar (e.g., "when I'm happy", "I love them").

例: It depends on my mood. When I'm sad, I prefer slow, melancholic songs like acoustic ballads, but when I'm happy I enjoy upbeat music such as rap or pop because it lifts my energy.

提案: Give a direct answer, then explain clearly with one or two specific reasons. Avoid filler sounds and contradictory statements (excited vs relaxed). Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. Happy music makes me feel more energetic because upbeat rhythms and lively melodies change my mood quickly; for example, listening to a fast pop song makes me want to move and smile.

提案: Answer directly and give a concise reason. Fix grammar ("I haven't taken" and "I haven't gone"), avoid fillers, and provide a brief additional detail if possible (e.g., interest in learning instruments instead).

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes because I don't enjoy singing and I think my voice is not very good. However, I would consider learning an instrument like the guitar in the future.

提案: Be specific about when and why you listen to music. Use linking words ("for example", "because") and correct grammar ("it gives me motivation" rather than "it give me too much joy"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while I am programming because it helps me concentrate and improves my mood. For example, I play instrumental or electronic tracks to maintain focus during long coding sessions.

× 'It totally depends on my mood.'

✓ 'It totally depends on my mood.'

'No change needed: sentence uses present simple correctly to express a habitual general truth.'

× 'When I'm sad I mostly prefer sad songs and when the mood is in the happy mood happy mood then I usually prefer happy music like rap songs, discover songs.'

✓ 'When I'm sad, I mostly prefer sad songs, and when I'm in a happy mood, I usually prefer happy music such as rap or pop songs.'

'Sentence had repetition and awkward phrasing ("the mood is in the happy mood happy mood"). This is a sentence structure problem: remove repetition, add commas, use parallel structure and correct vocabulary ("such as" instead of "like" for examples and "pop" instead of unclear "discover"). Suggestion: break into clear clauses, use "when I am in a happy mood" and parallel verbs ("prefer").'

× 'I'm I love it.'

✓ 'I love it.'

'Original includes an extra subject pronoun "I'm" before "I love it", causing a subject duplication and ungrammatical phrase. Remove the extra "I'm" to fix subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.'

× 'Yes Sir MMM happy music made me feel more excited because it totally changed my mood and I feel more uh, more and more relaxed umm, and I feel more enjoyable, more excited.'

✓ 'Yes sir. Happy music makes me feel more excited because it changes my mood; I feel more relaxed and more joyful.'

'Mixed tenses and awkward word choices: "made me feel" (past) conflicts with general statement; use present simple "makes" for habitual effect. "I feel more enjoyable" is incorrect; use adjective "joyful" or adverb "more enjoyment". Also remove filler sounds. Suggestion: use consistent present tense for general truths and choose correct adjective/adverb forms.'

× 'So umm, happy music uh, uh, we should listen.'

✓ 'So, we should listen to happy music.'

'Awkward word order and extra fillers. The intended meaning is a recommendation, so the correct English order is "we should listen to happy music." Remove filler sounds and place the object after the verb.'

× 'No, I haven't, uh, taken any music classes because, umm, I don't like, uh, singing and uh, my voice is not uh, uh, as much as good, uh, as much as better to sing.'

✓ 'No, I haven't taken any music classes because I don't like singing and my voice is not good enough for singing.'

'Several problems: unnecessary commas and fillers, awkward comparative phrase "as much as good/as much as better" which is ungrammatical. Use "not good enough" to express inability or lack of skill. Also omit the extra commas and fillers for clarity.'

× 'That's why I haven't go to any music classes.'

✓ 'That's why I haven't gone to any music classes.'

'Incorrect verb form after auxiliary: after "haven't" (have not) the past participle "gone" is required, not the base form "go." This is a subject-verb/verb form agreement with perfect tense. Suggestion: use present perfect with past participle for actions up to now.'

× 'Yes, I listen to music while I'm doing my own work.'

✓ 'Yes, I listen to music while I'm doing my work.'

'Minor phrasing: "my own work" is not incorrect but slightly redundant. Present continuous "I'm doing" is appropriate for actions happening at the same time as listening. Suggestion: use "my work" for natural phrasing.'

× 'Like when I am doing programming and programming then I I often listen to music because uh, it give me too much joy to make my work too good.'

✓ 'For example, when I am programming, I often listen to music because it gives me joy and helps me do better work.'

'Errors include repetition ("programming and programming"), duplicated subject "I I", incorrect verb form "give" instead of "gives", and awkward phrasing "too much joy to make my work too good." Use a clear cause-effect structure: "it gives me joy and helps me do better work." Ensure subject-verb agreement and remove fillers.'