Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition; keep answer concise and structured: state preference, give one clear reason, then add a brief contrasting detail if needed. Use linking words like "however" or "although" to connect ideas. Avoid filler sounds (uh, umm) and overlong explanations.

例: I generally prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and energises me. However, I often listen to sad music too, because its lyrics and atmosphere help me reflect and concentrate when I need to think deeply.

提案: Be more precise and avoid vague phrases like "maybe" and "or maybe because of". Start with a direct topic sentence, then provide one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Keep to 2–3 sentences max and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "lyrics" not "just lyrics inside").

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because its upbeat rhythm increases my energy, and positive lyrics lift my mood and help me focus on good things in life.

提案: Answer directly and avoid unnecessary backstory. Use a clear structure: state whether you have taken classes, give a short reason or regret, and mention one specific consequence. Remove hesitations and informal contractions (e.g., 'cause) in formal test speech.

例: No, I have never taken music classes. I focused on visual art instead, and now I regret not learning an instrument because I would like to play for relaxation and social occasions.

提案: Avoid repetition and filler words. Give a concise answer with a brief example of activities where you listen to music. Use linking words (e.g., "for example", "while") to make it coherent and specific.

例: Yes, I listen to music daily, usually while studying or doing housework, because it helps me concentrate and reduces stress.

× To tell the truth, I prefer happy music because it lightens my mood and makes me feel less depressed.

✓ To tell the truth, I prefer happy music because it lightens my mood and makes me feel less depressed.

No correction needed; sentence is grammatically correct. It uses verbs and -ing forms appropriately (none required here).

× But umm, most of the time I listen to sad music because apart from UMM mirroring my mood, it also helps me to focus on some things in life that can be understood only through music.

✓ But most of the time I listen to sad music because, apart from mirroring my mood, it also helps me focus on some things in life that can be understood only through music.

Remove filler 'umm' and unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me' to correct sentence structure and verb pattern. Use a comma after the introductory clause. This makes the sentence more concise and grammatically correct: 'helps me focus' (verb + base) is standard after 'help'.

× In my opinion, yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because of the rhythm in it or maybe because of the just lyrics that are inside the songs because they make me feel less depressed and more joyful and to think about some positive aspects of my life.

✓ In my opinion, yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because of the rhythm in it or maybe because of the lyrics in the songs, as they make me feel less depressed, more joyful, and help me think about positive aspects of my life.

Remove the incorrect word 'just' before 'lyrics' and change phrasing for clarity. Use 'the lyrics' or 'lyrics in the songs' and parallel structure: 'make me feel less depressed, more joyful, and help me think' keeps verb forms consistent. Also replace redundant 'because' with 'as' to avoid run-on sentence.

× Unfortunately, no, I have never taken any music classes, uh, because I used to take some art classes, but right now as I grow old, I, uh, understand that it would be very great if I had taken them, uh, 'cause right now I can't play any music instrument and it makes me sad sometimes.

✓ Unfortunately, no, I have never taken any music classes because I used to take some art classes. Now that I am older, I realize it would have been great if I had taken them, because I can't play any musical instrument and that makes me sad sometimes.

Use consistent tense: 'Now that I am older' (present), 'I realize' (present), and 'it would have been great if I had taken them' (past unreal conditional) is correct for expressing regret. Replace colloquial fillers and correct 'music instrument' to 'musical instrument'.

× To be honest, I listen to music almost umm, every day for a long period of time because it helps me to concentrate on things and to lift my mood.

✓ To be honest, I listen to music almost every day for long periods of time because it helps me concentrate on things and lift my mood.

Remove filler 'umm' and change 'for a long period of time' to plural 'for long periods of time' or simply omit for concision. Also after 'helps me' use base verbs: 'helps me concentrate' and 'lift my mood' (parallel verbs) and omit unnecessary 'to'.

× So the answer to the question is yes, I listen to music while I do almost everything because it helps me, uh, to concentrate and be less stressed.

✓ So the answer to the question is yes: I listen to music while I do almost everything because it helps me concentrate and be less stressed.

Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me'. Use a colon after the introductory phrase for clarity. 'Helps me concentrate' uses the correct verb pattern (help + base verb).