Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, fix grammar (use gerunds and articles), and add a brief specific reason or example. Keep to under five sentences and use linking words for coherence.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and keeps me energized. For example, upbeat pop songs help me concentrate when I study and make chores feel less tiring.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then add a short specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like "etc." and correct minor grammar (e.g., "listen to happy music").

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For instance, upbeat tracks with a fast tempo make me want to dance and boost my energy before a workout.

提案: Answer directly, then expand with a specific example of informal musical experience. Use smoother linking words and avoid redundancy (university or college).

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes at university, but I often sing in college events. For example, I joined the campus festival choir last year and performed two songs with a small band.

提案: Make the response fluent and remove broken sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example using linking words. Correct grammar ("listen to music", avoid repeated fragments).

例: Yes, I often listen to music while coding because it helps me concentrate and stay motivated. For example, I usually play instrumental electronic tracks in the background when I work on programming tasks.

× I prefer happy music because it makes my mood good and it also keeps me energized and.

✓ I prefer happy music because it improves my mood and keeps me energized.

The sentence ends with an extra conjunction 'and' which is redundant and creates a sentence fragment. Use a single conjunction to join two complete ideas and remove the trailing 'and'. Also changed 'makes my mood good' to 'improves my mood' for natural phrasing.

× Listening sad songs I do not prefer listening sad songs because it makes a person to get depression.

✓ I do not prefer listening to sad songs because they can cause depression.

'Listening sad songs' is incorrect; the verb requires the preposition 'to' ('listening to sad songs'). Also 'it makes a person to get depression' uses incorrect pronoun and infinitive structure. Use plural 'they' to refer to 'songs' and say 'can cause depression' for natural English.

× Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited as compared to sad music and I love to listen happy music like upbeat music etc.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited than sad music, and I love listening to upbeat music.

'I love to listen happy music' lacks the preposition 'to' after 'listen' and the object needs 'to listen to'. Also 'as compared to' is wordy; use 'than' for comparison. Removed 'etc.' which is informal and unnecessary.

× Till now, I have not taken any music classes at university or at college, but I love to sing songs and I also participate in events at college and school.

✓ So far, I have not taken any music classes at university or college, but I love singing and I also participate in events at college and school.

'Till now' is informal; 'so far' is more natural here. 'Love to sing songs' can be simplified to 'love singing'. 'At university or at college' is repetitive; use 'at university or college'.

× Yes, I love to listen music while doing other things like coding.

✓ Yes, I love to listen to music while doing other things like coding.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before its object: 'listen to music'.

× I always play music in my background whenever I am doing coding because it. Because it makes my mood good and keeps me active and.

✓ I always play music in the background whenever I am coding because it improves my mood and keeps me active.

The original contains sentence fragments ('because it.'), repeated 'Because it', and a trailing 'and'. 'In my background' should be 'in the background'. Also changed 'doing coding' to 'coding' and 'makes my mood good' to 'improves my mood' for natural phrasing.