Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add a specific reason or example. Use correct grammar (drop 'a' before 'happy music', use gerunds correctly) and limit to about 2–4 sentences.

例: I usually prefer happy music because it helps me relax and puts me in a peaceful mood. For example, listening to upbeat acoustic songs in the evening helps me unwind after a busy day.

提案: Give a direct short answer and then clarify with a clear reason and a specific example. Avoid filler words and incorrect word choice (use 'calm' or 'comfortable' instead of 'convenient'). Keep it under 3 sentences.

例: Not necessarily. Happy music usually makes me feel calm or comfortable rather than excited; for example, a cheerful melody while reading helps me stay relaxed instead of hyped up.

提案: Answer directly and give a concise, coherent reason. Fix repetition and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' properly and keep it to 1–2 sentences.

例: No, I haven't. In my high school the curriculum didn't include any music classes, so I never had the chance to study music formally.

提案: Provide a smooth topic sentence and a specific reason, correcting grammar ('listen to music', 'it makes me'). Remove hesitations and keep it to 1–2 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while walking in the morning because it makes me feel cheerful and energised for the day.

× Well I would say I usually listen a happy music because it can make me relaxing, it can make me relax and also can make me feel more peaceful.

✓ Well, I would say I usually listen to happy music because it can make me relaxed, it can make me relax, and it can make me feel more peaceful.

Issues: article usage ('a happy music' incorrect) and missing preposition 'to' after 'listen'. Also adjective/adverb form: 'make me relaxing' should be 'make me relaxed' or 'make me relax'. Suggestions: use 'listen to music' (no article before uncountable 'music'); use 'relaxed' (adjective) after 'make me' or use base verb 'relax' with 'make me relax'. Add commas for clarity.

× Not really. Sometime happy music can make me feel, uh, convenient. It doesn't. It doesn't mean excited, for example.

✓ Not really. Sometimes happy music can make me feel comfortable. It doesn't mean excited, for example.

Issues: adverb 'Sometime' should be 'Sometimes' (frequency adverb) and 'convenient' is wrong collocation for feelings; 'comfortable' fits. Also tense/punctuation: keep present simple 'can make me'. Suggestions: use 'sometimes' and select appropriate emotion adjectives like 'comfortable' or 'relaxed'.

× Absolutely not. This is because in my high school we did. We didn't have a music class in in any subject. So that's why I didn't take any music class.

✓ Absolutely not. This is because in my high school we didn't have a music class in any subject. So that's why I didn't take any music classes.

Issues: redundant fragment 'we did.' is unnecessary and confusing; double 'in in' is a typo; 'music class' as countable should be plural when talking generally ('any music classes'). Suggestions: remove the fragment, fix the duplication, and use plural for general reference.

× Yes, of course. I usually listen music while I'm walking in the morning. This is because it's make me feel, uh, cheerful.

✓ Yes, of course. I usually listen to music while I'm walking in the morning. This is because it makes me feel cheerful.

Issues: missing preposition 'to' after 'listen' and incorrect verb form 'it's make' should be 'it makes'. 'Makes' is third person singular present. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity. Suggestions: use 'listen to music' and ensure subject-verb agreement with 'it makes'.