Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear, grammatical sentences and avoid filler words. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (e.g., "however", "so") to make the contrast between happy and sad music clearer. Keep answers to no more than five sentences.

例: I listen to different kinds of music depending on my mood and the situation. For example, when I'm happy I prefer energetic pop songs because their fast rhythm makes me feel more upbeat. However, when I feel sad I often choose slow acoustic or piano pieces because they help me reflect and calm down.

提案: Be concise and precise: give a clear opinion, then two specific reasons with appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "tempo", "melody", "beat"). Avoid contradictory phrases like "relaxing and faster"—choose accurate descriptors. Use one linking word (e.g., "because" or "since") to connect cause and effect.

例: Yes, definitely. Happy music usually makes me more excited because the upbeat tempo and lively melody increase my energy. Also, a strong rhythmic beat encourages me to move or clap along, which boosts my mood.

提案: Organize chronologically with clear, grammatical sentences. Start with a direct statement about your lessons, then give specific details (ages, instruments, achievements). Use linking words like "later" or "after that". Correct collocations (e.g., "rooted my interest in music", "member of my school's symphony orchestra").

例: Yes. I started piano lessons when I was six, which sparked my interest in music. Later, I learned to play the horn, and now I am a member of my school's symphony orchestra.

提案: Avoid repetition and tense errors. Provide a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details about the type of music and how it helps (e.g., improves concentration, reduces boredom). Use correct grammar ("helps me concentrate", "what I'm doing", "background music keeps me motivated").

例: Yes, I often listen to soft instrumental music while studying because it helps me concentrate and blocks out distracting noises. Also, background music makes boring tasks feel more pleasant and keeps me motivated to finish them.

× I would listen to different music depends on, uh, my, the atmosphere and my emotions.

✓ I listen to different music depending on the atmosphere and my emotions.

Incorrect verb form and structure: 'would listen' and 'depends on' mismatch with general habit meaning; use simple present 'I listen' for habitual actions and gerund 'depending on' after verbs. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and 'depending on' to link conditions.

× When I'm really happy that they, I prefer music that can, that is energetic and which makes me happy.

✓ When I'm really happy, I prefer music that is energetic and makes me happy.

Extra words and incorrect clause structure cause agreement/confusion: remove 'that they' and redundant 'that can' to make subject-verb agreement clear. 'Music that is energetic and makes me happy' uses correct singular subject 'music' with verbs 'is' and 'makes.'

× Uh, but you've, uh, I'm really emotion that day and a bit sad things happens.

✓ But if I'm feeling emotional or a bit sad that day, I prefer sad music.

Mixed tense and word choice errors: 'you've' is incorrect here; 'I'm really emotion' uses noun instead of adjective; 'things happens' wrong plural/verb form. Use conditional 'if I'm feeling' (present continuous for current state) and 'things happen' or better rephrase to 'feeling emotional or a bit sad.'

× I would say definitely because happy music will make people feel more energetic because of the melody and uh, also the rhythm, which is a bit relaxing and faster so that people will feel more happy when I listen to these music.

✓ I would definitely say so because happy music makes people feel more energetic due to the melody and the rhythm, which is somewhat relaxing yet faster, so people feel happier when they listen to this music.

Tense and agreement issues: mix of 'will make' with habitual statement; use present simple 'makes' for general truths. 'More happy' should be 'happier.' 'These music' incorrect plural; use 'this music' or 'these songs.' Also adjust pronouns consistently ('people' and 'they').

× Yes, I have taken piano lessons since I was 6 and that's my first time, uh, experiencing music and it's actually rooted my role in music.

✓ Yes, I have taken piano lessons since I was six, and that was my first experience with music; it actually shaped my role in music.

Awkward tense and phrase: 'that's my first time experiencing music' mixes present perfect with past event; use 'that was my first experience' or 'it was my first time experiencing music.' 'Rooted my role' is incorrect collocation; use 'shaped my role' or 'rooted my interest.' Also write numbers under ten as words in formal text ('six').

× And when I was, uh, older, I tried playing the horn and I'm now one of the member of my school Symphonic.

✓ And when I was older, I tried playing the horn, and I'm now one of the members of my school's symphonic band.

Subject-verb agreement and article use: 'one of the member' should be 'one of the members.' 'School Symphonic' is incomplete; add 'symphonic band' and possessive 'school's.' Maintain consistent tense: 'I'm now' is fine for current status.

× Yes, I love to listen to music while I'm studying because I think I think that music can helps me concentrate on what I was I'm doing right now and I feel that the background music actually accompanies me to do something that I really don't like to do.

✓ Yes, I love to listen to music while I'm studying because I think music can help me concentrate on what I'm doing, and I feel that background music actually helps me do things I don't really like to do.

Verb form and tense errors: 'can helps' should be 'can help' (modal + base verb). 'what I was I'm doing right now' is fragmented and redundant; use 'what I'm doing.' 'Accompanies me to do' is unnatural; use 'helps me do.' Also remove repeated 'I think.'