Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with grammar (use correct verb forms) and reduce fillers like “uh”. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Replace vague phrases with specific examples and keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: I prefer light, calm music because it helps me relax and clear my mind. For example, after listening to soft piano pieces I feel refreshed and can concentrate better on my work.

提案: Avoid repetition of ideas (you already said relaxation in the previous answer) and fix grammar (subject-verb agreement). Give a focused reason why happy music excites you and one specific example. Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, happy music does excite me because upbeat rhythms boost my energy and improve my mood. For example, listening to lively pop songs in the morning helps me feel motivated to start the day.

提案: Good direct answer and clear reason. Remove repetition and filler words, and tighten the structure: one topic sentence, one linking phrase, and one specific supporting detail about how you try to learn. Mentioning a specific online resource or instrument would add credibility.

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes because my work schedule is very busy. However, I sometimes learn songs on YouTube—mainly guitar tutorials—but I haven't been able to commit to regular lessons.

提案: Avoid repeating words (e.g., “experience experience”) and expand with a specific detail or example. Use linking words such as “also” or “for example” and keep answers concise (2–3 sentences).

例: Yes, I usually listen to music when I travel because it helps me relax and pass the time. I also enjoy playing upbeat playlists while I cook—for example, jazz or acoustic pop—because it makes cooking more enjoyable.

× I prefer light and calm music because it helps me relaxed and clear my mind.

✓ I prefer light and calm music because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

The verb after 'helps' should be in the base form (help + infinitive without 'to' or base verb) or use 'to' before verb. 'relaxed' is an adjective or past participle and is incorrect here. Use 'relax' to show the action. Suggestion: use 'helps me relax' or 'helps me to relax'.

× Uh, for instance, after listening to soft music, I feel more refreshed and able to concentrate on my work easily.

✓ For instance, after listening to soft music, I feel more refreshed and able to concentrate on my work.

The adverb 'easily' is redundant with 'able to' and can make the sentence awkward. Removing 'easily' makes the present state clear. The tense is present simple, describing a habitual reaction, which is correct.

× Uh, when I listen to a happy music it's make me feel more excited because it helps me to relax and clear my mind.

✓ When I listen to happy music, it makes me feel more excited because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

'Music' is an uncountable noun and does not take the indefinite article 'a' here, so use 'happy music' not 'a happy music'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it' (music) needs 'makes' not 'make'. Also, after 'helps me' use base verb 'relax' not 'to relax' or 'relaxed'. Suggested improvements: remove 'a' and change 'make' to 'makes', and use 'helps me relax'.

× Also concentrate on my work and I feel refreshed.

✓ I also find it helps me concentrate on my work, and I feel refreshed.

Original lacks a clear subject and verb for the first clause ('Also concentrate on my work' is a fragment). Adding a subject and verb ('I also find it helps me') creates a complete sentence and links ideas coherently. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× To be honest, I haven't taken any music classes because my because my work schedule has been very busy so I haven't had enough free time to attend lessons or practice regularly.

✓ To be honest, I haven't taken any music classes because my work schedule has been very busy, so I haven't had enough free time to attend lessons or practice regularly.

Sentence contains a repeated phrase 'because my' which is a duplication error and disrupts sentence flow. Removing the duplicate and adding a comma before 'so' clarifies the cause-and-effect relationship. Tense (present perfect) is appropriate for past actions with present relevance.

× Uh, I sometimes try to learn songs on my own online, but I haven't been able to commit to formal lessons.

✓ I sometimes try to learn songs on my own online, but I haven't been able to commit to formal lessons.

This sentence is correct in tense and structure. Present simple ('try') for habitual action and present perfect ('haven't been able') for inability up to now are appropriate. No change needed.

× Generally, I prefer to listen to music when I travel because it helps me relax and pass the time.

✓ Generally, I prefer to listen to music when I travel because it helps me relax and pass the time.

This sentence is correct. 'Music' is uncountable and correctly used without an article. Present simple tense is appropriate for habitual actions.

× I also like listening to music while I cook as it makes the experience experience more enjoyable.

✓ I also like listening to music while I cook, as it makes the experience more enjoyable.

The word 'experience' is duplicated, which is a lexical repetition error. Removing the extra word corrects the sentence. Adding a comma before 'as' improves readability. The tense and structure are otherwise correct.