Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammatical errors, and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct collocations (e.g., “in a bad mood,” “lift my spirits,” “upbeat songs”).

例: I prefer happy music because it cheers me up when I’m in a bad mood and helps me relax after a long day. For example, upbeat pop songs lift my spirits and make it easier to unwind.

提案: Good structure and relevance. To improve, reduce repetition and tighten sentences. Use one linking phrase and a concrete brief example or result. Watch articles (drop unnecessary 'the').

例: Yes, definitely. Happy music makes me feel more excited, especially at family gatherings, because it creates a lively atmosphere and lifts everyone’s mood, so people socialise and have more fun.

提案: Fix grammar and word order, be specific about which aspects of music you enjoy and why. Use one linking word to show contrast (e.g., “however” or “instead”) and avoid extra articles ('the folk and the pop songs' → 'folk and pop songs').

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because my job keeps me very busy. Instead, I listen to folk and pop songs in my free time to relax and stay connected to music.

提案: Correct grammatical mistakes (e.g., 'I really enjoy,' 'I always play'), and keep answers within 2–3 sentences. Give a specific brief example of how music helps (e.g., improves concentration or makes tasks more enjoyable).

例: Yes, I really enjoy listening to music while doing other things. For example, when I’m commuting or cooking I play pop or folk songs in the background because they help me relax and make the time pass more quickly.

× I prefer happy music because it can cheer me up quickly when I'm in bad mood and helps me relax after a busy day at work and listening to a beat up upbeat songs leaves my spirits and make it makes it easier to unwind.

✓ I prefer happy music because it can cheer me up quickly when I'm in a bad mood and helps me relax after a busy day at work, and listening to upbeat songs lifts my spirits and makes it easier to unwind.

Multiple present tense and article issues: use 'in a bad mood' (missing indefinite article) and maintain consistent present tense subject-verb agreement: 'listening to upbeat songs lifts my spirits and makes it easier' (singular gerund 'listening' takes singular verbs 'lifts' and 'makes'). Remove redundant words ('beat up', duplicate 'make it'). Suggestion: keep verbs consistent with the present simple when describing habitual effects and include necessary articles.

× Yes, definitely. Happy music always makes me feel more excited, especially at the family gatherings or work parties because it creates a lively atmosphere and lifts everyone's moods, which makes the events more enjoyable.

✓ Yes, definitely. Happy music always makes me feel more excited, especially at family gatherings or work parties, because it creates a lively atmosphere and lifts everyone's mood, which makes the events more enjoyable.

Minor noun and agreement issues: use 'family gatherings' without 'the' for general reference; 'everyone's mood' is usually singular (collective) rather than 'moods'. Maintain present simple for habitual effects. Suggestion: remove unnecessary definite article and use singular 'mood' for collective reference.

× Honestly I haven't taken any music classes because my job always make keeps me busy so I don't have time for lessons.

✓ Honestly, I haven't taken any music classes because my job always keeps me busy, so I don't have time for lessons.

Subject-verb agreement and present tense: 'my job' (third person singular) requires 'keeps' not 'make' or 'make keeps'. Also add comma after introductory 'Honestly' and between clauses. Suggestion: use 'keeps' for correct agreement and punctuation to clarify sentence structure.

× Instead I listen to music in my free time, especially the folk and the pop songs which helps me relax and keep connected to music.

✓ Instead, I listen to music in my free time, especially folk and pop songs, which help me relax and keep me connected to music.

Relative clause agreement and pronoun use: 'songs' is plural so the relative clause should use 'help' not 'helps'. Also idiomatically say 'keep me connected to music' (include object 'me'). Remove unnecessary definite articles before genres. Suggestion: match verb number to the plural noun and include the indirect object.

× It's a really enjoy listening to music while I'm doing other things.

✓ I really enjoy listening to music while I'm doing other things.

Incorrect sentence structure: 'It's a really enjoy' is ungrammatical. Use subject 'I' with verb 'enjoy'. 'I really enjoy listening to music' is correct. Suggestion: remove 'It is' and place adverb 'really' before the verb.

× For example, when I'm commuting or cooking, I always played pop or folk songs as background because it helps me to unwind and makes time pass more quickly.

✓ For example, when I'm commuting or cooking, I always play pop or folk songs as background because they help me unwind and make time pass more quickly.

Tense inconsistency and pronoun agreement: 'I always played' is past tense but context is habitual present, so use 'always play'. Also 'songs' is plural so use 'they help' and 'make' not 'it helps' / 'makes'. 'Help me unwind' is more natural than 'helps me to unwind'. Suggestion: keep present simple for habitual actions and match verbs to plural subject.