Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Покращуйте природність і граматику: використовуйте повні речення, уникайте заповнювачів («umm»), точніше формулюйте думку та дотримуйтесь обмеження до 5 речень. Додайте одне-два пояснення чому ви інколи обираєте сумну музику, використовуючи зв’язки (for example, when...).

例: It depends on my mood. Most of the time I prefer happy music because it lifts my spirits and helps me stay productive. However, sometimes I choose sad music when I want to reflect or process emotions, for example after a difficult day.

提案: Удосконалюйте чіткість і уникнення повторів: відповідайте прямо, використовуйте зв’язки для пояснення причин і наводьте конкретні приклади як музика впливає на настрій. Замість повторів («of course») використовуйте різноманітну лексику.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more energetic and motivated. For instance, upbeat songs help me concentrate during exercise and give me the confidence to start new tasks.

提案: Зробіть відповідь більш структурованою і граматично правильною: почніть з прямої відповіді, потім коротко поясніть досвід (наприклад, dance classes), і завершіть планом на майбутнє. Уникайте невизначених фраз і повторень («UH»).

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes. However, I studied dance at university, which involved working with music and rhythm. I might try a music class in the future to improve my musical skills.

提案: Спрощуйте і робіть речення більш природними: скажіть прямо, коли ви слухаєте музику, використовуйте зв’язки (for example, while, when) і уникайте незрозумілих фраз («it's quite open during my work"). Додайте конкретний приклад типу музики або ситуації.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play upbeat pop while cooking and relaxing instrumental music when I tidy my apartment or work on light tasks.

× Depends on my mood actually.

✓ It depends on my mood, actually.

The sentence is missing an explicit subject; English requires a subject. Use 'It depends' for general statements. Also add a comma before 'actually' for natural punctuation.

× Most of time I prefer happy music, but there are sometimes umm days that I need sad mood.

✓ Most of the time I prefer happy music, but sometimes there are days when I need sad music.

Missing definite article: 'Most of the time' requires 'the'. Word order and choice: 'sometimes there are days when' is the natural construction. 'Sad mood' should be 'sad music' to match context. Also remove filler 'umm'.

× Yes, of course it gives me more energy and I feel more confident with it.

✓ Yes, of course it gives me more energy and I feel more confident because of it.

'Confident with it' is awkward; use 'confident because of it' or 'confident when I listen to it' to show cause. This improves prepositional choice and clarity.

× And of course it gives me much more opportunity and motivation to do something.

✓ And of course it gives me many more opportunities and the motivation to do things.

'Opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' with 'many more'. 'Much more' is used with uncountable nouns; 'many more' fits countable 'opportunities'. Also 'do something' is vague; 'do things' or 'take action' is more natural.

× Not at all, but in past UH I have some UH classes with dance and this is quite related to music, but maybe in future I will try it.

✓ Not at all, but in the past I had some dance classes, which were quite related to music; maybe in the future I will try formal music classes.

Time expression needs 'the past'. Use past tense 'had' for completed actions. 'Classes with dance' is unnatural; use 'dance classes'. 'Which were' matches past. Clarify 'try it' to 'try formal music classes' for meaning.

× To be honest, yes, I listen to music so much and it's quite open during my work, but also I listen music during some cooking meals or just tidy up my apartment.

✓ To be honest, yes, I listen to music a lot and I often play it while I work; I also listen to music when I'm cooking or tidying up my apartment.

Use 'a lot' instead of 'so much' for frequency. 'It's quite open during my work' is unclear; 'I often play it while I work' is natural. 'I listen music' requires 'listen to music'. Use 'when I'm cooking' and 'tidying up' for correct verb forms and prepositions.