Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce filler words (umm, uh) and avoid repeating words. Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually choose music based on my mood. For example, when I am alone and need to relax or concentrate, I prefer sad or mellow music because it helps me focus. However, when I feel cheerful I listen to upbeat songs to match my energy.

提案: Give a direct answer and support it with a clear reason and a short example. Replace hesitations with cohesive linking words (for example, therefore, as a result) and correct grammar (e.g., ‘being motivated’ → ‘more motivated’). Keep responses compact and relevant.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For example, when I listen to upbeat songs I feel joyful and more energetic, so I become more motivated to exercise or tackle tasks. As a result, my productivity usually increases.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar: use past participle and avoid awkward phrasing. Provide a brief elaboration about dance to show relevance and use linking words like ‘but’ or ‘however’.

例: No, I haven't taken any formal music classes because I'm more interested in dancing. However, I have practiced dancing informally for several years, which has helped me develop a strong sense of rhythm.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence followed by specific examples and a brief reason why. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use accurate phrasing (e.g., ‘while studying’, ‘while doing household chores’).

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For instance, I listen to instrumental tracks while studying to help me concentrate, and upbeat playlists when doing household chores or exercising because they lift my mood.

× In music, umm it depends on the mood that I am uh, currently I am umm, sometimes I want the sad music if I am alone, lonely, want to relax, want to umm concentrate and happy music if my mood is happy, that's.

✓ In music, it depends on my mood: sometimes I want sad music when I am alone, lonely, want to relax, or want to concentrate; and I want happy music when my mood is happy.

The sentence mixes tenses and has awkward structure. Use simple present to state habitual preferences (it depends, I want). Replace 'if I am alone' with 'when I am alone' for time context. Add connectors 'or' and punctuation to separate ideas and make parallel list of reasons. Remove redundant fillers like 'umm' and 'that's.' Suggestion: Practice forming simple present habitual statements and use 'when' for time conditions.

× Happy music really makes my heart umm, excited.

✓ Happy music really makes my heart excited.

The verb 'makes' (simple present) should be followed by an adjective or an object complement; 'excited' is correct. Remove filler 'umm'. Alternatively 'makes my heart beat faster' for a clearer expression. Suggestion: Use 'make + object + adjective' structure for emotional reactions.

× My feelings become umm. I feel joy, I feel umm, the excitement is there.

✓ My feelings change: I feel joy and excitement.

Original has sentence fragments and repetition. Combine related short sentences into one coherent sentence using conjunctions. Use 'change' for transition and list emotions in parallel form. Suggestion: Avoid fragments; join short related ideas with conjunctions or punctuation.

× I become more active and being motivated to do tests in my daily living.

✓ I become more active and more motivated to do tasks in my daily life.

Mixes forms 'become' and 'being'; use parallel simple present forms 'become' and 'be' or 'become... and more motivated'. 'Tests' is likely incorrect word choice; use 'tasks' and 'daily life' instead of 'daily living.' Suggestion: Keep parallel structure for verbs and choose appropriate nouns ('tasks', 'daily life').

× At my current age, umm I didn't take any music classes because I am more into dance.

✓ At my current age, I haven't taken any music classes because I am more into dance.

Context indicates up to now (current age), so present perfect 'haven't taken' is appropriate rather than simple past 'didn't take.' Remove filler 'umm.' Suggestion: Use present perfect to express experiences up to now.

× I'm not have a formal education in dancing but I like more dancing than music.

✓ I don't have a formal education in dance, but I prefer dancing to music.

'I'm not have' is ungrammatical; use 'I don't have.' Use 'formal education in dance' (noun) rather than 'dancing' and express preference with 'prefer X to Y' rather than 'like more X than Y.' Suggestion: Use correct auxiliary 'do' for negatives in present simple and 'prefer... to...' for comparisons.

× Yeah, I prefer listening to music, specially during a study, umm, doing household chores and even working.

✓ Yes, I prefer listening to music, especially while studying, doing household chores, and even working.

Use 'especially' (spelled correctly) and 'while studying' or 'during study' rather than 'during a study.' Maintain parallel gerund phrases ('studying, doing, and working'). Remove filler 'umm.' Suggestion: Spell adverbs correctly and keep parallel gerund structures.

× I love listening music.

✓ I love listening to music.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by its object. Missing preposition causes ungrammatical phrase. Suggestion: Remember 'listen to' + object.