Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and fluency: use correct verb forms and articles, shorten redundancy, add one specific reason or example. Structure: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details linked with a connector. Vocabulary: replace repeated words ("sad music") with synonyms (e.g., "melancholic songs").

例: I prefer sad music because it helps me process my emotions. For example, when I feel stressed after exams, melancholic songs with slow piano melodies calm me down and let me reflect.

提案: Correct tense and phrasing: use present simple ("makes") and natural expressions. Avoid vague statements like "increase dopamine" unless you clarify. Add a linking phrase to connect cause and effect, and give a concise example of when you feel excited.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms lift my mood. For instance, when I hear lively pop songs in the morning, I feel energetic and ready to start the day.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct tense ("I took" or "I had") and plural/singular forms ("lessons," "taught"). Remove filler words and add a brief, specific detail about what you learned to enrich the answer. Keep it concise and structured.

例: Yes, I took music lessons at secondary school. However, the teacher mostly taught basic theory and music history, so we learned how to read simple notation and about classical composers.

提案: Fix grammar and reduce repetition: use correct verb forms ("studying," "listen to"), and combine similar ideas with linking words. Provide a specific example of the type of music you choose for studying vs. commuting to show variety and purpose.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For studying, I prefer instrumental or lo-fi tracks because they help me concentrate; meanwhile, I choose upbeat pop when commuting to lift my mood.

× I love listen sad music.

✓ I love listening to sad music.

The verb 'love' should be followed by a gerund when expressing enjoyment of an activity. Also add the preposition 'to' after 'listening' when indicating the object. Suggestion: use 'love listening to ...' for natural phrasing.

× when I listen it I always feel that oh the world is wonderful.

✓ when I listen to it I always feel, 'Oh, the world is wonderful.'

After 'listen' the preposition 'to' is required when specifying the object. The clause also needs punctuation and capitalization for clarity. Suggestion: use 'listen to it' and set quoted exclamations or commas for spoken interjections.

× happy music will make me feel more excited because I think happy music will increase dopamine and when I listen it I always feel that oh the world is wonderful.

✓ Happy music makes me feel more excited because I think it increases dopamine, and when I listen to it I always feel that the world is wonderful.

The context discusses general reactions, so the simple present is more appropriate than future 'will'. Also use 'listen to' with the preposition. Use pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual or general truths.

× Yes I have taken music classes when I'm at secondary school.

✓ Yes, I took music classes when I was at secondary school.

A specific past time ('when I was at secondary school') requires the simple past, not present perfect. Also use 'was' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: use simple past for completed actions at a definite past time.

× We have music lesson but but the teacher just teach us basic music knowledge and some history.

✓ We had music lessons, but the teacher only taught us basic musical concepts and some history.

Pluralize 'lessons' to match habitual classes. Use past tense ('had', 'taught') to match the time frame. 'Teach' should be past 'taught' and 'just' is better as 'only'. 'Basic music knowledge' is awkward; 'basic musical concepts' is clearer. Suggestion: ensure consistent tense and natural word choices.

× When I'm study, I like listen music because I think it can help me be more focused.

✓ When I'm studying, I like to listen to music because I think it can help me focus more.

Use the present participle 'studying' after 'I'm'. After 'like' use either gerund ('listening to') or infinitive ('to listen to'); here 'like to listen to' is natural. Add the preposition 'to' after 'listen'. 'Help me be more focused' is less natural than 'help me focus more.' Suggestion: use correct -ing form and 'listen to'.

× Yes, I listen to music while I'm doing other things.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while I'm doing other things.

Original sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Inclusion as a checked item: 'doing' is correctly used as present participle after 'I'm'.

× Yeah, and I like listen music when I'm travel on the bus.

✓ Yeah, I like to listen to music when I travel on the bus.

After 'like' use 'to listen to' or 'listening to'. Use 'travel' (simple present) rather than 'travel' with 'I'm'. 'Listen' requires 'to' before its object. Suggestion: use 'I like to listen to music when I travel on the bus.'