Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, reduce hesitation, and fix tense/agreement errors. Include one specific brief example to support your preference.

例: I prefer different kinds of music depending on my mood. For example, when I'm feeling low I listen to sad songs because their lyrics help me process my feelings, but if I receive good news I choose upbeat tracks to celebrate and boost my energy.

提案: Correct grammar and vocabulary, remove unclear words, and use linking words for coherence. Give one clear reason and a short specific example. Avoid filler words and pluralization errors (e.g., "music" not "musics").

例: Yes, it does. The upbeat rhythms and lively instruments energize me and motivate me to work harder; for instance, I often play upbeat pop songs when I exercise or finish a big task to celebrate.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and word choice, and finish the sentence. Remove hesitations and give a concrete detail about the class (what you learned or a song you sang).

例: I haven't had professional music lessons, but I studied music at primary school in my hometown. For example, we learned traditional folk songs and I enjoyed singing with classmates during cultural presentations.

提案: Make your response more coherent and correct grammar. Use linking words to list activities and give one specific example of how music helps you. Avoid unclear phrases like "how choices" and improve sentence flow.

例: Yes, I listen to music every day, especially when I walk my dog, cook, or wash the dishes. Listening to upbeat music helps me stay motivated and makes routine tasks feel more enjoyable—for example, I play energetic playlists to keep a steady pace while cleaning.

× When I'm feeling low, I prefer sad music because it's helped me get through the difficult times and give me the energy to move on.

✓ When I'm feeling low, I prefer sad music because it helps me get through difficult times and gives me the energy to move on.

The original mixes present simple and present perfect incorrectly. 'It's helped' (present perfect) conflicts with the general statement about habit; use present simple 'it helps'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'give me' should be 'gives me' because the subject 'it' is singular. Suggestion: use consistent present simple for habitual effects and ensure verbs agree with the singular subject 'it'.

× But sometimes I choose happy and uplifting music when I want something to cheer me up, especially when I have, uh, good news.

✓ But sometimes I choose happy, uplifting music when I want something to cheer me up, especially when I have good news.

Comma placement and word choice: 'happy and uplifting music' is fine but more natural as 'happy, uplifting music' when both adjectives modify the noun equally. Removing filler 'uh' and the extra comma before 'good news' improves fluency. Suggestion: remove hesitation fillers and use a comma between coordinate adjectives.

× Yet it does because the uplifting beast and also the happy rhythms is always energy and inspired me to work harder.

✓ Yes, it does because the uplifting beats and the happy rhythms always energize and inspire me to work harder.

Multiple issues: 'Yet' is awkward at start—'Yes' fits. 'beast' is wrong word; should be 'beats'. Subject-verb agreement: 'rhythms is' should be 'rhythms always energize' (plural subject). Tense consistency: 'inspired me' (past) should be present 'inspire me' to match general statement. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary ('beats'), keep present tense for general effects, and match plural subjects with plural verbs.

× So that's why I if I feel like I want to celebrate something in a on a particular day, I always prefer listening to happy musics.

✓ So that's why, if I feel like celebrating something on a particular day, I always prefer listening to happy music.

Errors: extra words 'I' and 'in a' are unnecessary; simplify to 'if I feel like celebrating'. 'Musics' is incorrect—'music' is an uncountable noun and does not take a plural form. Suggestion: remove redundant words and use uncountable noun 'music'.

× No, I haven't taken any professional musical lessons before, but however, when I work in ramary school in my hometown, we, uh, we join a musical class as one of our main subjects and I did enjoy singing together with my classmate umm, the song usually about our cultural and umm, the.

✓ No, I haven't taken any professional music lessons before; however, when I worked in primary school in my hometown, we joined a music class as one of our main subjects, and I enjoyed singing together with my classmates. The songs were usually about our culture.

Tense and vocabulary errors: 'when I work' should be past 'when I worked' to match 'haven't taken...before' context. 'ramary' is likely 'primary'. 'join' should be past 'joined'. 'did enjoy' is acceptable but simpler as 'enjoyed'. 'classmate' plural 'classmates' fits 'we'. Sentence fragment at end was incomplete; complete it as 'The songs were usually about our culture.' Suggestion: use past tense consistently for past events, correct vocabulary, and complete fragments.

× Yes I do it every day in my life especially when I walk my dog to the park or I do how choices or washing dishes.

✓ Yes, I listen to music every day, especially when I walk my dog to the park, do house chores, or wash the dishes.

Awkward phrasing and wrong words: 'I do it every day in my life' is unnatural; specify 'I listen to music every day'. 'how choices' is incorrect—likely 'house chores'. Use parallel verb forms: 'do house chores' or 'wash the dishes'. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object structure and parallelism for lists.

× I always listen to happy music it just to keep me go going and forget how tired I am and not keeping me away from stretches.

✓ I always listen to happy music to keep myself going, to forget how tired I am, and to help me relax.

Multiple errors: remove redundant 'it just'. Use reflexive pronoun 'myself' for 'keep myself going'. 'not keeping me away from stretches' is unclear; likely intended 'help me relax' or 'stop me from feeling stressed'. Also ensure parallel infinitive forms 'to keep', 'to forget', 'to help'. Suggestion: use clear verbs, correct reflexive pronoun, and maintain parallel structure.