Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and organized: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and vague phrases like "everything" or "maybe." Use more precise vocabulary (e.g. "melancholic" instead of "sad") and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually prefer melancholic songs because their lyrics help me reflect on my feelings. However, it depends on my mood: I listen to upbeat American pop when I need energy, and K-pop when I want well-produced melodies. Overall, both types have a place in my playlist.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with a concise reason and a specific example. Avoid unclear comments and unrelated corrections. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'however' or 'for example.' Also correct or avoid inaccurate phrases (e.g., 'AK pop').

例: Not really — happy music makes me feel content rather than excited because I usually listen to it to relax. For example, upbeat BTS tracks lift my mood but don't energize me the way intense dance music would.

提案: Answer directly and briefly, then add one clear reason and an alternative related activity. Avoid hesitations and redundant clauses; use coherent linking (e.g. 'because', 'so', 'instead'). Keep within 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes because I don't feel confident in my singing ability. Instead, I enjoy learning about music informally by listening to different genres and watching performance videos online.

提案: Good direct answer and relevant examples — make it slightly more fluent and varied by using linking words and more precise verbs. Combine similar activities into one coherent sentence and add a brief reason why you listen while doing them.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores like washing dishes or cooking for my family, because it makes these tasks more enjoyable. I also play music when commuting to relax and pass the time.

× I prefer sad music to have music, but I like them both.

✓ I prefer sad music, but I like both kinds.

The original mixes phrases and uses 'to have music' incorrectly and the plural pronoun 'them' is vague. Use present tense 'prefer' correctly and simplify to 'both kinds' to refer to sad and happy music. Suggestion: Remove 'to have music' and use a clear noun phrase like 'both kinds' to refer to two types of music.

× I think it depends on my feelings on my day, experiences maybe.

✓ I think it depends on my feelings that day and my experiences.

The phrase 'on my day' is unnatural; use 'that day' to refer to the day in question. 'Experiences maybe' is misplaced; place 'maybe' or rephrase to 'and my experiences.' Suggestion: Say 'depends on my feelings that day and my experiences.'

× I like listening to K pop.

✓ I like listening to K-pop.

Hyphenation and capitalization: 'K-pop' is the conventional form. No tense error, just standard spelling. Suggestion: Use 'K-pop'.

× I like listening to a lot of American songs.

✓ I like listening to many American songs.

Use 'many' with countable noun 'songs' rather than 'a lot of' in more formal responses; though 'a lot of' is grammatically acceptable, 'many' is clearer. Suggestion: Use 'many American songs'.

× No it does not happen.

✓ No, it doesn't happen.

Contraction 'doesn't' is more natural in spoken English; add comma after 'No'. The sentence is also vague; better to say 'No, that doesn't happen' or 'No, it doesn't make me excited.' Suggestion: Specify what 'it' refers to for clarity.

× Music to some makes me feel happier but I don't think it makes me excited.

✓ Music sometimes makes me feel happier, but I don't think it makes me excited.

'Music to some' is ungrammatical. Use 'Music sometimes' to express occasional effect. Also use adjective 'excited' correctly with 'make' is fine; original needed clearer adverb placement. Suggestion: Say 'Music sometimes makes me feel happier, but I don't think it makes me excited.'

× Especially listening to K pop BTS or something like that.

✓ For example, when I listen to K-pop groups like BTS, ...

The fragment lacks a main verb and is incomplete. Expand to a full clause referencing the effect or context. Suggestion: Complete the sentence: 'For example, when I listen to K-pop groups like BTS, I feel...'.

× But sad songs of BTS.

✓ But some sad songs by BTS do affect me.

This fragment is incomplete and lacks a verb. 'Sad songs of BTS' is also awkward; use 'songs by BTS.' Suggestion: Use a full sentence: 'But some sad songs by BTS affect me.'

× It's AK pop group by the way, I like Lord.

✓ They're a K-pop group, by the way; I like them a lot.

'It's AK pop group' has incorrect article and initials. Use plural pronoun 'they' for a band. 'I like Lord' is unclear; likely meant 'a lot.' Suggestion: Say 'They're a K-pop group, by the way; I like them a lot.'

× Oh no, unfortunately, no, because I don't think I have a good voice for that.

✓ Oh no, unfortunately not, because I don't think I have a good voice for that.

Redundant 'no' repetition; use 'not' after introductory clause. Tense is present and correct. Suggestion: Simplify to 'Oh no, unfortunately not.'

× I think people who can sing or can dance are a lot are we're talented here and I'm not that kind of person to do that, but I I really enjoy listening to music.

✓ I think people who can sing or dance are very talented, and I'm not that kind of person, but I really enjoy listening to music.

Original has multiple fragments, repetition ('are a lot are we're'), and incorrect word order. Simplify: 'people who can sing or dance are very talented' and separate contrasting clause. Remove duplicated 'I.' Suggestion: Break into two clear clauses and remove repetitions.

× Oh of course I I listen to music but I'm doing my dishes or making dinner for my family.

✓ Oh, of course I listen to music when I'm doing my dishes or making dinner for my family.

Remove duplicated 'I'. Use 'when' to link simultaneous actions: 'listen to music when I'm doing...' Present continuous 'I'm doing' is appropriate. Suggestion: Use 'when' to connect activities and remove duplicates.

× I really enjoy listening to music while going somewhere also.

✓ I also really enjoy listening to music while I'm going somewhere.

Move 'also' to natural position and include 'I'm' for the present continuous action. 'Going somewhere' is fine but adding 'I'm' makes it a full clause. Suggestion: Say 'I also enjoy listening to music while I'm going somewhere.'