Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; begin with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to organize reasons. Avoid repetition and incorrect plural/sentence fragments. Include one specific example of a sad song or artist to make the answer more concrete.

例: I usually prefer sad music. For example, I enjoy slow ballads by Adele because their slower tempo matches my mood and makes it easy to sing along. However, when I'm with friends I sometimes choose upbeat tracks to lift the atmosphere.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, use full sentences and correct verb forms, and remove fillers. Use linking words to connect effects and an example. Be specific about how and when you use happy music.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because the energetic rhythm lifts my mood. For instance, I play upbeat playlists in the morning to boost my energy, and as a result I feel more focused and positive throughout the day.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct tense consistency and avoid hesitations. Give one or two specific details about what you learned or a memorable performance, linked logically with connectors.

例: Yes, I took piano lessons from around age nine until I was fourteen. I learned to read music and performed in two small recitals; practicing was fun but sometimes stressful because of regular exams.

提案: Give a concise direct answer, use linking words (however, instead) and avoid repetition. Provide one specific example of a task and a genre or playlist you use to make the answer more vivid.

例: I sometimes do, but usually I avoid music when I need to concentrate because it distracts me. However, I often play upbeat pop or podcasts while doing physical chores like washing dishes or when I'm driving to keep me motivated.

× I prefer sad music over happy music because I like songs that are just slowed down tempo and it really fit my mood most of the time and I like to sing along songs that are sad because it's much easier than just listening.

✓ I prefer sad music over happy music because I like songs that have a slowed-down tempo and they really fit my mood most of the time, and I like to sing along to sad songs because it's much easier than just listening.

Original errors: 'slowed down tempo' needs hyphenation and a verb structure ('have a slowed-down tempo'); 'it really fit' is subject-verb agreement and should be 'they really fit' to match plural 'songs'; 'sing along songs' requires the preposition 'to' after 'sing along'; run-on sentence should be separated with commas. Suggestion: use plural agreement, add necessary prepositions, and hyphenate compound modifiers. Grammar problem type ID:1

× Too happy musics where most of the time you Can't Sing along and but sometimes when I'm with my friends I do listen to happy musics just to lift up the mood.

✓ Too-happy music is often something you can't sing along to, but sometimes when I'm with my friends I do listen to happy music just to lift the mood.

Errors: 'musics' is uncountable and should be 'music'; awkward phrasing 'Too happy musics where most of the time you Can't Sing along and' is ungrammatical—use 'is often' and 'can't sing along to'; capitalization issues. Suggestion: treat 'music' as uncountable, avoid unnecessary plurals, and place the preposition 'to' after 'sing along'. Grammar problem type ID:1

× This happy music definitely makes me feel more excited.

✓ Happy music definitely makes me feel more excited.

Using 'This happy music' is awkward in general statements; simple plural/generalizing expression 'Happy music' is more natural. Suggestion: drop 'this' when speaking generally about a category. Grammar problem type ID:17

× It lifts my mood and energizes me, so I often sing along or just vibe with it with the rhythm.

✓ It lifts my mood and energizes me, so I often sing along or just vibe with the rhythm.

Redundant preposition 'with it with the rhythm' is incorrect. Use 'vibe with the rhythm' or 'vibe to the rhythm'. Suggestion: remove extra 'with it' and choose correct preposition 'to' or 'with'. Grammar problem type ID:10

× When I wanna boost my mood.

✓ When I want to boost my mood, I listen to upbeat songs.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a main clause; also 'wanna' is informal. Suggestion: use 'want to' and attach a main clause to complete the sentence. Grammar problem type ID:23

× For example, I listen to upbeat songs in the morning or to start the day feeling more positive.

✓ For example, I listen to upbeat songs in the morning to start the day feeling more positive.

The phrase 'or to start the day' is redundant and slightly awkward. Combining into one purpose clause is clearer. Suggestion: streamline the sentence to express purpose once. Grammar problem type ID:17

× And it actually do helps sometimes.

✓ And it actually does help sometimes.

Errors: 'do helps' mixes auxiliary and main verb incorrectly. Use 'does help' for emphasis with third-person singular subject 'it'. Suggestion: use correct auxiliary 'do/does' + base verb. Grammar problem type ID:10

× Rather than listening to sad musics.

✓ Rather than listening to sad music.

'Music' is uncountable and should not be pluralized. Suggestion: use 'music' without 's'. Also sentence fragment—should attach to previous clause if needed. Grammar problem type ID:1

× I have taken music classes when I was younger, probably at the age of 9 or 10 years old.

✓ I took music classes when I was younger, probably at the age of 9 or 10.

Mixing present perfect 'have taken' with a definite past time 'when I was younger' is incorrect—use simple past 'took'. Also 'years old' is redundant after giving the age. Suggestion: use consistent past-tense forms when specifying past time. Grammar problem type ID:5

× My mom sent me to the to a piano class where I played piano till the age of. 14 And I played it.

✓ My mom sent me to a piano class where I played the piano until I was 14, and I practiced a lot.

Errors: duplicate 'the to a', missing article before 'piano class', awkward 'played piano till the age of. 14' with punctuation error, and 'played it' is vague. 'Play the piano' is standard. Suggestion: remove duplication, add articles, fix punctuation, and clarify actions. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I performed and have tasks throughout the days of my piano lessons and and it was fun, but it was also quite stressful.

✓ I performed and had tasks throughout the days of my piano lessons, and it was fun but also quite stressful.

Tense inconsistency: 'have' should be past 'had' to match past context; duplicate 'and and'; 'throughout the days of my piano lessons' is awkward but acceptable. Suggestion: use past tense consistently and remove duplicate words. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I do, but most of the time I don't because I'm not really good at multitasking so I couldn't focus on what I'm doing if I'm listening to music.

✓ I do, but most of the time I don't because I'm not really good at multitasking, so I can't focus on what I'm doing if I'm listening to music.

Tense mismatch: 'couldn't' implies past ability but context is general present—use 'can't'. Suggestion: keep present tense for habitual statements. Grammar problem type ID:12

× So that is why I usually don't listen to music when I'm focusing on something such as homework or assignments.

✓ That is why I usually don't listen to music when I'm focusing on something, such as homework or an assignment.

Minor article/word choice: 'the' at start is unnecessary; 'assignments' plural is okay but pairing 'homework or an assignment' reads smoother. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'So' and use consistent singular/plural forms as needed. Grammar problem type ID:22

× But I do listen to music when I'm doing something physical, such as cleaning the house or washing dishes or driving cars while I'm driving.

✓ But I do listen to music when I'm doing something physical, such as cleaning the house, washing the dishes, or driving.

Redundant phrasing 'driving cars while I'm driving' and inconsistent articles. Use parallel structure and avoid repetition. Suggestion: keep list items parallel and concise. Grammar problem type ID:14