Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more fluent and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid repetition, and give a specific reason with an example. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and keep the answer under five sentences.

例: I prefer sad music, especially R&B, because I enjoy its moody atmosphere and emotional depth. For example, when I listen to a slow R&B ballad, the lyrics and vocal tone make me feel connected to the singer, so I can reflect on my own feelings.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Use a clear topic sentence, then support with specific reasons and one example. Replace vague words like 'exciting' (used incorrectly) with 'energized' or 'motivated', and use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example.'

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more energized because upbeat melodies and strong beats lift my mood. For example, I often play K-pop while doing homework because the rhythm helps me stay focused and motivated.

提案: Organize your answer: give a direct topic sentence, then explain with brief details and a reason. Correct grammar (e.g., 'when I went to university' and 'a music class' → 'music classes' or 'a music class'). Avoid repeating the word 'compulsory' twice. Add a short example of what you would like to learn.

例: Yes, I took music classes in primary and secondary school because they were compulsory, but I didn't have any at university. I would like to take music classes again, for example to learn guitar or vocal techniques, because I really love music and want to improve my skills.

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and an example. Correct verb forms ('listening' → 'listen'), word choice ('mode' → 'mood'), and avoid vague phrases like 'the stuff.'

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things because it improves my mood and motivation. For example, I play upbeat playlists while cleaning or studying to make boring tasks more enjoyable and help me concentrate.

× When I'm I, I when I am listening to sad music, it feels like I can coherent with the singer.

✓ When I am listening to sad music, it feels like I can connect with the singer.

Original sentence includes extraneous words ('I'm I, I') and uses 'coherent' incorrectly. 'There be' category applies because sentence structure is broken and missing correct verb phrase; however main error is wrong word choice and extra tokens. Use 'connect' or 'relate' to express emotional alignment. Remove duplicate fragments and use 'When I am listening' for correct present continuous. Suggestion: simplify to 'When I am listening to sad music, I feel like I can connect with the singer.' for a more natural phrasing.

× Yes, when I am listening to some K pop, they're usually some happy music and I feel excited and fascinated because of the melody and also the beats.

✓ Yes, when I am listening to some K-pop, it is usually happy music and I feel excited and fascinated because of the melody and the beats.

Use singular reference 'it' or plural 'they' consistently. 'K-pop' as a genre is usually treated as singular ('it is usually happy music'). Also remove redundant 'some' before 'happy music'. Ensure subject and verb agree: 'it is' rather than 'they're'. Suggestion: 'When I listen to K-pop, it is usually upbeat, and I feel excited because of the melody and the beats.'

× And I will listen to the happy music when I am doing my homework so I can stay exciting.

✓ And I listen to happy music when I am doing my homework so I can stay motivated.

'Will listen' implies future but context describes habitual action; use simple present 'I listen'. Also 'stay exciting' incorrectly uses adjective describing active effect; the intended meaning is 'stay excited' or better 'stay motivated'. Use 'motivated' to express focus. Suggestion: 'I listen to happy music when I do my homework so I can stay motivated.'

× I prefer sad music actually because I love R&B music and I loved the Moody atmosphere.

✓ I prefer sad music actually because I love R&B music and I love the moody atmosphere.

Mixed tense: 'prefer' and 'love' are present, but 'loved' is past; maintain present tense for general preferences. Also 'Moody' should be lowercase 'moody' as it's not a proper noun. Use present simple 'love' for consistent tense and style. Suggestion: 'I prefer sad music because I love R&B and the moody atmosphere.'

× Have you taken any music classes? I have taken some music classes in primary and secondary school because it is compulsory but when I go to the university I have no music classes because it is not compulsory. But I would love to have a music classes because I really love music.

✓ I have taken music classes in primary and secondary school because they were compulsory, but when I went to university I had no music classes because they were not compulsory. I would love to have music classes because I really love music.

Errors: unnecessary articles ('a music classes'), inconsistent tense (mix of present and past when referring to completed education), and wrong pronoun/number agreement. Use plural 'music classes' without 'a'. Use past simple 'went' and 'had' for completed actions. Replace 'it is compulsory' with 'they were compulsory' referring to classes. Suggestion: 'I took music classes in primary and secondary school because they were compulsory, but at university I didn't have any. I would love to take music classes because I really love music.'

× Yes, absolutely, because I think it's very important that you listening to something while doing the stuff so that you can have a more mode, you can have more motivation and have a better mood while doing things that you don't like.

✓ Yes, absolutely, because I think it's very important that you listen to something while doing things so that you can be in a better mood, have more motivation, and feel better while doing things you don't like.

After 'that' the correct verb form is base form 'you listen' not 'you listening'. 'Doing the stuff' is informal; use 'doing things'. 'A more mode' is incorrect — replace with 'a better mood'. Parallel structure: 'have more motivation and feel better'. Use consistent verb forms and clearer vocabulary. Suggestion: 'I think it's important to listen to something while doing tasks so you can be in a better mood and stay motivated.'