Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation and vague phrases, correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), and give one specific reason or short example. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use a linking phrase if adding a detail.

例: I prefer happy music. It lifts my mood and helps me relax, for example I often play upbeat pop songs when I need to focus or to cheer myself up.

提案: Avoid repetition and hesitations; organize the answer with a topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting points using linking words (e.g., because, for example). Be specific about situations when it helps and use varied vocabulary (energizes, uplifts). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, it does. Because upbeat songs energize me, I often want to dance or smile, and they quickly lift my mood when I’m stressed or upset.

提案: Answer directly and concisely, correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'listen to it'), avoid fillers ('uh', 'like'), and add a brief reason or possible future plan for more content. Use one linking word if adding reasons.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes. Although I enjoy listening to music, I’ve never pursued singing or lessons because I don’t feel confident, but I might try a casual class in the future to learn basic skills.

提案: Be specific and avoid vague expressions and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concrete examples using linking words (for example, such as). Use correct forms (listen to music, when I cook) and concise phrasing.

例: Yes. I usually listen to music while doing other tasks; for example, I play podcasts or pop music when I cook or exercise at the gym because it helps me stay motivated and focused.

× I prefer happy music because listening to it makes me feel happy and like umm, make me worry less about your world and it makes the environment joyous too.

✓ I prefer happy music because listening to it makes me feel happy and makes me worry less about the world, and it makes the atmosphere joyous too.

The sentence uses 'make me worry' which mismatches the singular subject 'listening to it' and mixes pronouns 'your world' incorrectly. Also 'environment' is acceptable but 'atmosphere' fits better here. Corrected verbs need agreement: 'listening to it makes... and makes...' and 'your world' changed to 'the world' to match general statement. Suggestion: keep consistent subject-verb agreement and use appropriate pronoun for general statements.

× Yes, definitely. It makes me excited, it makes me want to dance and it makes me feel at ease. It's it also lightens the mood when I'm sad or I'm angry and when I'm stressed out. So it definitely makes me excited and it's a mood lifter.

✓ Yes, definitely. It makes me excited, makes me want to dance, and makes me feel at ease. It also lightens the mood when I'm sad, angry, or stressed out. So it definitely makes me excited and is a mood lifter.

Repeated 'it' and 'I'm' are unnecessary and some verbs were redundantly repeated. Ensure third person singular 'it' pairs with singular verbs like 'makes' consistently. Removed extra 'it's' before 'also' and simplified clauses for clarity. Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns and keep parallel structure in lists.

× Unfortunately not uh, I haven't taken any music classes even though like I like to listen to music uh, but I have never thought of taking it professionally or even as a hobby to learn.

✓ Unfortunately not. I haven't taken any music classes even though I like to listen to music, and I have never thought of taking it up professionally or even as a hobby to learn.

Sentence had extra filler words and missing preposition 'up' after 'taking'. Also combined conjunctions awkwardly. Use 'taking it up' to indicate starting an activity. Maintain present perfect 'haven't taken' and 'have never thought' for life experience. Suggestion: remove fillers and include correct phrasal verb 'take up'.

× I am not good at singing, I just like to listen it.

✓ I am not good at singing; I just like to listen to it.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'listen'. Also run-on sentence corrected with semicolon. 'Listen' requires 'to' when followed by an object. Suggestion: use 'listen to' when specifying what you listen to.

× Yes actually uh most of the time when I'm listening music, I'm doing some other task too.

✓ Yes, actually most of the time when I'm listening to music, I'm doing another task as well.

After 'listening' the preposition 'to' is required before the object, and 'some other task' is awkward; 'another task' or 'other tasks' is better. Maintain gerund structure 'listening to music'. Suggestion: use 'listening to music' and prefer 'another task' or plural depending on context.

× So it's like, you know, a side quest which helps me go through the things like when I am working or whatever when I cooking or uh when I'm uh at the gym doing exercise, it's like, you know something that makes me like, you know uh.

✓ So it's like a side activity that helps me get through tasks, for example when I am working, cooking, or at the gym exercising; it's something that helps me cope.

The original sentence is disfluent with fillers and incorrect verb form 'when I cooking' (missing 'am') and awkward phrases like 'side quest' and repeated 'you know'. Corrected to proper clause structure, parallel verb forms 'working, cooking, or ... exercising', and clearer vocabulary 'side activity' and 'helps me cope'. Suggestion: remove fillers, ensure verbs in parallel form, and use precise vocabulary.