Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Уменьшите количество пауз и слов-паразитов (например, "uh", "I guess"). Дайте более чёткое и сжатое вступление (топик-сентенс), затем приведите одно-два конкретных объяснения. Используйте подходящие прилагательные (например, "uplifting", "cheerful") и избегайте неточных слов ("funny" не подходит для музыки). Ограничьте ответ до 3–4 предложений.

例: I prefer happy music because it uplifts my mood and makes me feel energetic. For example, upbeat pop or reggae helps me stay positive when I’m stressed, and I often play it while exercising or cleaning to keep my energy up.

提案: Уберите междометия и повторения ("yes absolutely", "feeling of happiness"). Начните с прямого ответа, затем добавьте конкретную деталь или пример с логическим связующим словом (например, "because" или "for example"). Постарайтесь использовать разнообразные глаголы и прилагательные (например, "energizes", "uplifts").

例: Yes, it does, because upbeat songs often energize me and improve my focus. For example, listening to lively pop tracks before a presentation helps me feel more confident and alert.

提案: Исправьте грамматические ошибки и неточные формулировки; избегайте противоречивых слов ("creeping" имеет негативный оттенок). Дайте чёткую структуру: короткий ответ о факте, затем одно-два конкретных уточнения (например, какой инструмент или что вы изучали) и влияние образования на ваши предпочтения. Используйте простые корректные выражения ("I studied piano", "I appreciate classical music").

例: Yes, I attended a music school when I was a child where I studied piano and basic music theory. As a result, I appreciate classical music more now because it helped me understand structure and emotion in compositions.

提案: Улучшите выбор слов и порядок слов (например, "blandly music" неверно). Начните с краткого прямого ответа, затем объясните, почему и приведите пример. Используйте правильные формы глаголов и фразы ("I listen to lofi while studying", "it helps me concentrate"). Не используйте расплывчатые выражения как "extraneous noise" без пояснения.

例: Yes, I often listen to lofi or ambient music while I study because the steady background sound helps me concentrate. For instance, when I have to read or write, soft instrumental tracks keep me focused without distracting me.

× I guess, uh, I guess I prefer happy music because uh, it's uh, absolutely boosts my mood and my emotions, uh, gives me the feeling of happiness and uh, fun.

✓ I guess I prefer happy music because it absolutely boosts my mood and emotions and gives me a feeling of happiness and fun.

The adverb 'absolutely' should modify the verb 'boosts' and not be followed by 'is'. Remove the extra 'it's' and the repeated filler 'uh' and 'I guess'. Use parallel structure: 'boosts my mood and emotions and gives me a feeling...'. Also 'a feeling of happiness and fun' is more natural than 'the feeling of happiness and uh, fun'.

× So I'd like to listen to only funny and kind music for my mood.

✓ So I'd like to listen only to cheerful and gentle music for my mood.

The original word 'funny' refers to humor, not mood-lifting music; 'kind music' is not idiomatic. Use adjectives 'cheerful' and 'gentle' or simply 'happy music'. Also correct word order to 'listen only to'. This fixes article/word choice and collocation issues.

× Happy music puts me in a better mood and give me the feeling of happiness.

✓ Happy music puts me in a better mood and gives me the feeling of happiness.

Subject 'Happy music' is singular, so verbs should be singular: 'puts' and 'gives'. The verb 'give' must agree with the singular subject and change to 'gives'.

× Oh yes, I have taken music classes and I went to musical school when I was younger.

✓ Oh yes, I have taken music classes and I went to a music school when I was younger.

Use the noun phrase 'a music school' or 'a musical school' with the indefinite article 'a' before a singular countable noun. 'Musical school' is uncommon; 'music school' is preferable.

× It was pretty interesting experience and uh, I find classical music pretty creeping because of the my musical education and uh, feel like more educated in this.

✓ It was a pretty interesting experience, and I found classical music intriguing because of my musical education; I feel more knowledgeable about it.

Missing article before 'experience' and incorrect adjective 'creeping' (means scary). Use 'intriguing' or 'fascinating'. Tense consistency: 'was' -> pair with 'I found'. Remove 'the' before 'my musical education'. 'Feel like more educated in this' is awkward; use 'I feel more knowledgeable about it'.

× Yes, absolutely. I tend to listen blandly music or lofi when I working or studying and I prefer some extraneous noise what I doing things.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I tend to listen to bland music or lofi when I am working or studying, and I prefer some background noise while I am doing things.

Use 'listen to' with the verb 'listen'. 'Blandly' is an adverb but a noun 'music' needs an adjective 'bland'. 'When I working' requires the present continuous 'when I am working'. 'Some extraneous noise what I doing things' is ungrammatical: use 'background noise while I am doing things' or 'noise when I do things'.

× I think it's boost my focus and concentration on the task that I do at that moment.

✓ I think it boosts my focus and concentration on the task I am doing at that moment.

Use 'it boosts' for subject-verb agreement and correct verb form. Replace 'on the task that I do' with 'on the task I am doing' for natural present continuous. Remove 'it's boost' (incorrect contraction + verb).