Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a slightly longer, natural response that includes a brief reason and one specific example. Avoid one-word answers; start with a clear topic sentence and add a supporting detail using a linking word.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me stay positive. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop songs in the morning to energize myself before work.

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition, use clearer vocabulary and a linking word to explain why. Keep it to two or three concise sentences and use specific descriptive words (e.g., uplifting, energetic) rather than filler sounds.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel excited because it is upbeat and uplifting. For instance, lively rhythms and cheerful melodies give me more energy and improve my focus.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain why using a linking word. Remove repetitions and use natural phrasing (e.g., "No, I haven't" or "No, I haven't taken any").

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes because I prefer learning by listening and practicing on my own. However, I might consider a course in the future if I want to learn an instrument formally.

提案: Use one clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason and an example. Fix word choice (use 'motivated' not 'motivate') and avoid repeating the same idea. Use a linking word like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working because it helps me stay motivated and concentrate. For example, I play instrumental playlists when I need to write reports to block out distractions.

× Yes, it makes me feel excited because, uh, it it, it is a very, uh, light and motivate motivational.

✓ Yes, it makes me feel excited because it is very light and motivating.

The student used both 'motivate' (verb) and 'motivational' (adjective) redundantly and incorrectly. The correct adjective describing the music's effect is 'motivating' (present participle used as adjective) or 'motivational'. Also remove filler repetitions 'it it, it' and unnecessary 'uh' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'motivating' to describe something that causes motivation.

× No I don't I I think I am good with listening to music and not taking classes.

✓ No, I don't. I think I am fine listening to music and not taking classes.

Run-on and awkward phrasing: 'I don't I I think' repeats and lacks punctuation. 'Good with listening to music' is non-idiomatic in present tense. Use 'I think I am fine listening to music' to express current preference. Also add a comma and period to separate clauses. Suggestion: pause between negatives and explanations: 'No, I don't. I think I am fine...'.

× Yes, I do listen to music, especially when working. I prefer listening to music when I'm working because it makes me motivate, motivated and focus on my work.

✓ Yes, I do listen to music, especially when working. I prefer listening to music when I'm working because it motivates me and helps me focus on my work.

Errors: 'it makes me motivate' incorrectly uses base verb 'motivate' instead of passive/causative structure; 'motivated' was isolated and not integrated; 'and focus' lacks parallel structure. Correct form is 'it motivates me' or 'it makes me feel motivated'. Also add 'helps me' to create parallel and grammatical structure 'motivates me and helps me focus'. Suggestion: use subject-verb 'it motivates me' or 'it makes me feel motivated' and keep verbs parallel.