Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (use present simple, articles, and countable/uncountable forms) and avoid redundant phrases.

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and improves my mood. For example, upbeat songs with a steady rhythm make my morning routine feel more energetic, so I usually listen to them while getting ready for work.

提案: Focus on one clear reason and use linking words to connect ideas. Fix grammar and collocations (e.g. 'make my heart skip a beat', 'boost my energy'). Avoid repeating the same idea with different words.

例: Yes, cheerful music often makes me feel more excited because the fast tempo and positive lyrics raise my energy levels. For instance, when I listen to lively pop songs while exercising, I feel more motivated and energetic.

× Definitely I will prefer happy music since the music will make you feel at ease and if you listen to the happy music it will help you feel relaxed and keep more thing and will make you have a good mood throughout the day.

✓ I definitely prefer happy music because it makes me feel at ease; if you listen to happy music it helps you relax, remember more things, and keeps you in a good mood throughout the day.

Errors: unnecessary future tense 'will prefer' and overuse of 'will' where present simple is appropriate for general preferences and habitual effects; 'keep more thing' is ungrammatical and likely means 'remember more things' or 'retain more'. Also pronoun shift from 'I' to 'you' is acceptable but keep consistent. Suggestion: Use present simple for general truths and habits (prefer, makes, helps, keeps), correct the noun phrase to plural 'things', and connect clauses with punctuation for clarity.

× Definitely happy or cheerful music always make my heart skip a beats because of the rhythm and the lyrics.

✓ Definitely, happy or cheerful music always makes my heart skip a beat because of the rhythm and the lyrics.

Errors: 'music' is a singular uncountable noun, so the verb should be 'makes' not 'make' (subject-verb agreement). 'A beats' is incorrect: use singular 'a beat' or plural without 'a' ('beats'). Suggestion: Match verb to singular subject and use correct singular noun phrase 'a beat'.

× All of that always boost my energy and always pump up my feeling to make me feel more energized and excited.

✓ All of that always boosts my energy and pumps up my mood, making me feel more energized and excited.

Errors: Verb forms do not agree with singular subject 'all of that' so use 'boosts' and 'pumps'. 'Pump up my feeling' is unnatural; use 'pump up my mood'. Redundant 'always' repeated; streamline for natural speech. Use gerund 'making' to connect result clause. Suggestion: Ensure verb agrees with subject and choose natural collocations like 'boost energy' and 'pump up my mood'.