Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 어색하고 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 먼저 주제문을 명확히 말하고 이유를 간결하게 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 논리를 정리하고, 문법적으로 올바른 표현(예: "cheerful" 또는 "uplifting" 대신 "optic music" 사용 지양)을 쓰세요. 어휘는 간단하고 적절한 단어를 선택하고, 최대 3문장 이내로 답변을 구성하세요.

例: I prefer happy music because it cheers me up when I'm feeling down. For example, upbeat pop songs or lively acoustic tracks lift my spirits and help me relax.

提案: 중복과 말더듬(umm), 문법 오류(tense, subject-verb agreement)가 있습니다. 질문에 직접적으로 'Yes'로 응답한 뒤, 이유와 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(when, because, so)를 정확히 사용하고 어순과 동사 형태를 고치면 자연스러워집니다. 문장은 2~3문장으로 제한하세요.

例: Yes, it does. When I'm tired after a stressful day, upbeat music helps me relax and lifts my mood, so I usually listen to cheerful songs to feel more energetic.

× I prefer happy music because when I'm feeling sad or luckily the optic music is pushed me my mood.

✓ I prefer happy music because when I'm feeling sad, upbeat music lifts my mood.

The original sentence has sentence structure issues and incorrect word choice. 'or luckily' is illogical and should be removed. 'the optic music' is incorrect; likely intended 'upbeat music' or 'happy music.' 'is pushed me my mood' is ungrammatical; the correct expression is 'lifts my mood.' Suggestion: simplify the clause, use appropriate vocabulary ('upbeat' instead of 'optic'), and use the correct verb 'lifts' with 'mood'.

× Yes it does it umm when I tired from my stressful day, the happy music makes me feel better, lift me my mood. So I prefer good music.

✓ Yes, it does. When I'm tired after a stressful day, happy music makes me feel better and lifts my mood, so I prefer cheerful music.

This sentence contains present tense and verb form errors. 'when I tired' lacks the auxiliary 'I'm' or 'I am' and should be 'when I'm tired.' 'after my stressful day' is more natural than 'from my stressful day.' 'lift me my mood' is ungrammatical; use 'lifts my mood' with correct subject-verb agreement. Also combine clauses with proper punctuation. Suggestion: use the present simple or present continuous consistently ('I'm tired'), correct verb forms ('makes' and 'lifts'), and choose consistent adjectives ('cheerful' or 'happy').