Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid redundancy and incorrect word forms (e.g., ‘song’ → ‘songs’, ‘attached to recovery emotions’ → a clearer phrase). Keep it under five sentences.

例: I prefer happy music, although I sometimes enjoy sad songs. For example, sad songs can help me process difficult feelings and recover emotionally after a stressful day.

提案: Combine your ideas into a concise, coherent response with correct grammar and linking words. Begin with a clear yes/no answer, then give one or two specific effects of happy music using correct verb forms and connectors (e.g., ‘because’, ‘so’, ‘and’). Remove repetitions like ‘when I whenever’.

例: Yes, it does. Happy music makes me feel more upbeat and relaxed because the rhythm and lyrics lift my mood, and I often feel calmer and less stressed after listening.

× I prefer happy music, but I like sad song most because it is attached to recovery emotions those that way.

✓ I prefer happy music, but I like sad songs most because they are connected to feelings of recovery.

Original errors: 'sad song' should be plural 'sad songs' (quantifier/number issue), 'most' is acceptable but needs plural noun; 'it is attached to recovery emotions those that way' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replaced with 'they are connected to feelings of recovery' to use plural pronoun 'they' matching 'songs' and to express the intended meaning clearly. Suggestion: use plural for countable nouns when referring to them generally and use clear noun phrases like 'feelings of recovery'. Grammar problem type ID:14

× Yes exactly. Happy music feel my mood happy and relaxed.

✓ Yes, exactly. Happy music makes me feel happy and relaxed.

Original errors: 'Happy music feel' uses 'feel' without the correct third-person singular verb form; it should be 'makes' or 'feels' with appropriate structure. Also 'my mood happy and relaxed' is awkward; change to 'makes me feel happy and relaxed' which correctly uses third-person singular 'makes' and a natural verb phrase. Suggestion: for singular nouns (music as a singular uncountable noun) use third-person singular verbs (adds -s) and follow with 'make/feel someone + adjective' patterns. Grammar problem type ID:2

× When I whenever I listen happy music it feels me peaceful and I relieve my stress.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I feel peaceful and it relieves my stress.

Original errors: redundancy 'When I whenever I' should be one temporal connector; 'listen happy music' misses the preposition 'to' after 'listen' (preposition error) and 'it feels me peaceful' wrongly uses 'feel' in passive-like form—English uses 'I feel peaceful' or 'it makes me feel peaceful.' 'I relieve my stress' is not idiomatic; 'it relieves my stress' or 'I relieve my stress' can be used but better is 'it relieves my stress.' Corrections: 'When I listen to happy music, I feel peaceful and it relieves my stress.' Suggestions: avoid redundant words, use 'listen to' with an object, put the experiencer 'I' before 'feel', and use 'relieve' with the stress as object (often passive: 'it relieves my stress'). Grammar problem type ID:6