Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, avoid repetition and filler words, and explain briefly why with specific details. Use linking words (e.g., because, although, however) to connect ideas and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: I enjoy both sad and happy music, but I tend to prefer sad music because it feels more emotionally rich and reflective. For example, sad songs often have meaningful lyrics and slower melodies that help me process my feelings.

提案: Combine short responses into a well-structured reply: start with a topic sentence, then add specific supporting details and a linking word. Avoid contractions like "wanna" in formal speech and replace them with full forms.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm and bright melodies lift my mood. For instance, when I listen to energetic pop songs, I often want to dance and sing, and I feel more motivated to exercise or work on creative projects.

× I like both, but I can find that great music from SAD music Fluently fluently.

✓ I like both, but I can find great music in sad songs, fluently.

The original sentence has multiple issues: redundant words ('that' unnecessary), incorrect preposition ('from' should be 'in' when referring to finding music within a category), wrong noun form ('SAD music' is awkward; 'sad songs' is natural), and repeated adverb 'Fluently fluently' (redundant and misplaced). According to the provided list, this is primarily a sentence structure error because several parts need reordering and simplification. Suggestion: remove 'that', use 'in' to link category and content, change 'SAD music' to 'sad songs' and use 'fluently' only once in appropriate context (though 'fluently' usually describes language ability; consider using 'easily' or omitting it unless meant literally).

× It does. Whenever I hear happy music, I feel like I wanna dance and sing.

✓ It does. Whenever I hear happy music, I feel like I want to dance and sing.

The issue is informal contraction 'wanna', which is not standard grammar. This falls under the 'Verb + -ing form' category because 'feel like' should be followed by the -ing form or a standard 'want to' construction. Replace 'wanna' with 'want to' or use 'feel like dancing and singing' to be grammatically correct and more natural. Suggestion: use 'I feel like dancing and singing' or 'I want to dance and sing.'

× It makes me more motivated.

✓ It makes me feel more motivated.

The sentence is understandable but sounds incomplete; 'motivated' often pairs with verbs like 'feel' to express a change in state. This is an adverb/verb choice and placement issue: add 'feel' to clarify the subject's experience. Suggestion: use 'It makes me feel more motivated' or 'It motivates me.'