Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and unclear words (e.g., “met me” should be “help me”). Also keep it under five sentences.

例: I prefer happy music to sad music because it helps me keep a positive mindset. For example, upbeat songs lift my mood and give me energy to deal with challenges. Therefore, I usually listen to cheerful music when I need motivation.

提案: Give a direct answer and explain briefly with clearer, more accurate language. Use one linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”) and avoid incorrect expressions like “increase my dopamine in my brains” and “require myself to become more.” Be specific about the feeling and any actions you take as a result.

例: Yes, it does, because upbeat music usually boosts my mood and energy. For instance, lively songs make me feel more motivated to exercise or finish tasks, so I often play them when I need a quick lift.

× I will always say I love more happy music than sad music because the happy music is really made me have a positive mindset to overcome the obstacle in front of me and happy music days can met me to have a positive and where I want to face a problem.

✓ I would always say I prefer happy music to sad music because happy music really helps me have a positive mindset to overcome obstacles in front of me, and happy days with music help me feel positive and ready to face problems.

Errors: incorrect article use ('the happy music'), singular/plural ('obstacle' should be plural 'obstacles'), wrong verb forms ('made me have' -> 'helps me have', 'can met me' -> 'help me'/'help me feel'), word choice and sentence structure. Grammar problem types matched: 22 Article errors, 1 Singular and plural issue, 26 Sentence structure errors, 8 Verb + -ing form (helping sense), 27 Subject-verb agreement. Suggestions: use 'prefer X to Y' for comparisons, omit unnecessary articles before general nouns, use present simple ('helps') for habitual effects, use plural for general pluralizable nouns ('obstacles'), break long sentence into clearer clauses and use parallel structure ('help me have... and help me feel...').

× I would say yeah, because happy music is always increase my dopamine in my brains and I will say this make me very satisfied and I want to require myself to become more and more.

✓ I would say yes, because happy music always increases my dopamine levels in my brain, and it makes me feel very satisfied, so I want to push myself to improve more and more.

Errors: tense and subject-verb agreement ('is always increase' should be 'always increases'), pluralization and word choice ('dopamine in my brains' -> 'dopamine levels in my brain'), incorrect clause structure ('I will say this make me' -> 'it makes me'), and wrong verb choice ('require myself' -> 'push myself' or 'challenge myself'). Grammar problem types matched: 6 Present tense issue, 27 Subject-verb agreement errors, 1 Singular and plural issue, 26 Sentence structure errors, 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs. Suggestions: use simple present for habitual effects, ensure verb agrees with subject, use correct collocations ('dopamine levels', 'push myself'), and simplify clauses for clarity.