Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small mistakes; start with a clear topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details, and use linking words for coherence. Avoid redundancy ("uplift my mood" and "boost my energy" are similar) and fix word choice errors (e.g., "admit" should be "upbeat" or "energetic"). Keep answers within 3–4 sentences for naturalness.

例: I prefer happy music because it brightens my mood and gives me energy. For example, I usually play upbeat pop songs when I exercise and gentle acoustic tracks during yoga. Because of that, I find it easier to stay motivated and start my day positively.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid awkward phrasing. Use one or two specific examples and link them with words like "because" or "so" to show cause and effect. Replace vague words ("tolerable") with stronger, more natural choices ("more enjoyable" or "less tedious"). Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because it energizes me and helps me concentrate. For instance, I play upbeat playlists while cleaning the house, which makes the chore much more enjoyable and helps me finish faster.

× I prefer happy music because it helps me uplift my mood and boost my energy.

✓ I prefer happy music because it helps me uplift my mood and boost my energy.

No change needed; 'helps me uplift' and 'boost' are acceptable. 'Help' can be followed by the bare infinitive (boost) or to-infinitive; both are fine. No grammar error of -ing form here.

× I always find it entertaining and relaxing.

✓ I always find it entertaining and relaxing.

No change needed; the adjectives 'entertaining' and 'relaxing' correctly describe 'it' (music). This is grammatically correct.

× It motivates me to start my day on a positive note.

✓ It motivates me to start my day on a positive note.

No change needed; the sentence structure correctly expresses purpose and is grammatical.

× For example, I listen to cheerful and admit songs when I exercise and do some yoga.

✓ For example, I listen to cheerful and upbeat songs when I exercise and do yoga.

Original contains the nonword 'admit' where 'upbeat' fits the intended meaning. Replace with an adjective that correctly describes songs. Also 'do some yoga' can be shortened to 'do yoga' for naturalness; both are acceptable.

× Yes, definitely. Happy music makes me more excited to face on the challenges or tasks I have on for the entire day.

✓ Yes, definitely. Happy music makes me more excited to face the challenges or tasks I have for the entire day.

Remove incorrect prepositions: 'face on' is wrong; the verb 'face' takes a direct object ('face the challenges'). 'Have on' is unnecessary; use 'have for' to indicate duration or purpose: 'have for the entire day.' This corrects preposition misuse.

× For example, when I clean the house, I prefer listening to happy music to make a boring task more enjoyable.

✓ For example, when I clean the house, I prefer to listen to happy music to make a boring task more enjoyable.

Both 'prefer listening' and 'prefer to listen' are grammatical, but in this context 'prefer to listen' is slightly more natural. This fixes verb form preference; not strictly required but improves style.

× I find it tolerable to clean.

✓ I find cleaning tolerable.

Better word order: 'find it tolerable to clean' is awkward; 'find cleaning tolerable' is more natural. Also 'tolerable' is a weak adjective—consider stronger adjective like 'more enjoyable' or 'less boring' depending on intended meaning.