Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “I prefer happy music.”), avoid filler words (uh, um), and correct grammar (drop the article before 'happy music', use past/present forms correctly). Add one specific example or brief reason using a linking word for coherence. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer happy music because it boosts my energy and mood. For example, when I feel down I play upbeat pop songs and within a few minutes I feel more motivated. This helps me stay productive and positive throughout the day.

提案: Answer directly with a clear sentence and avoid repetition. Use correct subject-verb agreement (“happy music makes”). Use a linking word (e.g. “so” or “therefore”) to connect cause and effect, and add one specific example of a song type or situation to enrich the response.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited and alert. For instance, when I listen to upbeat electronic or pop tracks while studying, I become more focused and energetic, so I can work for longer periods without losing motivation.

× Yes, I prefer a happy music as uh, it helps me to uh feel energetic and happy.

✓ Yes, I prefer happy music as it helps me to feel energetic and happy.

The noun 'music' is uncountable and does not take the indefinite article 'a'. Remove 'a' before 'happy music'. Also remove fillers and redundant commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'prefer happy music' rather than 'prefer a happy music'.

× So whenever I feel sad or depressed so I listen the happy music uh, it automatically uplift my mood and make me feel more energetic.

✓ So whenever I feel sad or depressed, I listen to happy music; it automatically uplifts my mood and makes me feel more energetic.

Multiple issues: 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by a noun (incorrect preposition -> ID 11) and 'uplift' and 'make' need third-person singular forms 'uplifts' and 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'it' (subject-verb agreement / third person singular -> ID 27 and ID 2). Also remove 'the' before 'happy music' (article error). Commas fixed for clarity. Suggestion: use 'listen to happy music' and 'it uplifts... and makes...'.

× Yes, uh, happy music make me uh very excited and energetic.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me very excited and energetic.

Subject 'happy music' is treated as a singular uncountable noun, so the verb must be in third-person singular form 'makes' rather than 'make'. Remove fillers for fluency.

× Uh, whenever I feel sad and depressed, umm, I uh start listening the upbeat music and cheerful music.

✓ Whenever I feel sad and depressed, I start listening to upbeat and cheerful music.

Use 'listen to' with the verb 'listen' (preposition required). Also 'the' before 'upbeat music and cheerful music' is unnecessary with general uncountable nouns (article error). Combine adjectives and remove fillers for natural phrasing.

× It helps me to uplift my mood and make me more concentrated and energetic.

✓ It helps uplift my mood and makes me more focused and energetic.

Parallel verbs after 'helps': use base form 'help uplift' or 'helps to uplift'. The second verb must agree with third-person singular subject 'it', so use 'makes' not 'make' (third person singular). Also 'concentrated' is not idiomatic here; use 'focused'. Suggestion: 'It helps uplift my mood and makes me more focused and energetic.'