Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise: state your preference in one clear sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because / so) and a brief example. Correct grammar (use singular/plural, articles, and verb forms) and avoid redundancy.

例: I prefer motivational music to sad or overly happy songs because it inspires me and helps me concentrate on my career goals. For example, when I practice my presentation, upbeat motivational tracks keep me focused and confident, so I can work for longer periods without losing energy.

提案: Answer clearly, then add one or two specific supporting points with linking words (for example, when / because / so). Fix grammatical errors (subject-verb agreement, articles, and redundant phrases) and avoid vague words like "this" without a noun. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited and relaxed because upbeat rhythms lift my mood. For instance, when I feel stressed after a long day, I listen to lively pop songs to refresh my mind and regain energy.

× I neither like sad nor happy music because these kind of things are wasted time, but I like to play, I like to listen motivational songs because these not only inspired me as well as these kind of things help me in the growth of my career. I have learned a lot of things from.

✓ I neither like sad nor happy music because these kinds of things are a waste of time, but I like to play and listen to motivational songs because they not only inspire me but also help me in the growth of my career. I have learned a lot from them.

The phrase 'these kind of things' is incorrect; the correct plural form is 'these kinds of things' or 'this kind of thing'. Also 'wasted time' should be 'a waste of time' as a noun phrase. 'Listen motivational songs' needs the preposition 'to' and 'play, I like to listen' is better joined with 'and'. 'These not only inspired me as well as these kind of things help me' has tense and structure issues: use present 'inspire' to match general truth, and 'but also' to link clauses. The sentence ended with 'I have learned a lot of things from.' which misses an object; add 'them'. Suggestions: use correct quantifier form ('this kind of' vs 'these kinds of'), use noun phrase 'a waste of time', include required prepositions ('listen to'), match verb tense for general facts (present simple), and complete sentences with necessary objects.

× Yes, absolutely happy music give me pleasure as well as provide me comfort.

✓ Yes, absolutely happy music gives me pleasure and provides me with comfort.

Subject-verb agreement and present tense require third-person singular verb forms when the subject is 'music' (a singular noun). Use 'gives' and 'provides'. Also 'provide me comfort' is better as 'provides me with comfort'. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with the subject and include appropriate prepositions ('provides ... with').

× Whenever I feel very suffocated, I try to listen this kind of music because this not only give me pleasure as well as this and make my mood very fresh.

✓ Whenever I feel very suffocated, I try to listen to this kind of music because it not only gives me pleasure but also makes my mood feel refreshed.

'Listen this kind of music' is missing the preposition 'to'. 'This not only give' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong demonstrative: use 'it' for 'this kind of music' and third-person singular verbs 'gives' and 'makes'. 'As well as this and make my mood very fresh' is awkward; use 'but also makes my mood feel refreshed' to show parallel structure. Suggestion: use correct prepositions, ensure subject-verb agreement, and maintain parallel structure with 'not only ... but also'.

× That's why I remarkably recommend this.

✓ That's why I strongly recommend it.

'Remarkably recommend this' is awkward: 'remarkably' is not the correct adverb collocating with 'recommend', and 'this' is vague; use pronoun 'it' referring to the music. 'Strongly recommend' is the natural collocation. Suggestion: choose appropriate adverbs for verbs ('strongly recommend') and use clear pronouns ('it').

× they not only inspired me

✓ they not only inspire me

The original used past tense 'inspired' inside a general statement about habitual effect of music; present simple 'inspire' is appropriate for repeated or general truths. Suggestion: use present tense for habitual or general statements.