Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more direct and add a brief reason with a linking word. Keep it concise (no more than 3–4 short sentences) and avoid filler phrases like “well” or “personally” unless necessary. Use a clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason or example to support your preference.

例: I prefer sad music because it helps me reflect and process my emotions. For example, when I’m feeling stressed, listening to slow piano songs calms me and helps me think more clearly.

提案: Be concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, a linking word, and a specific example. Remove hesitations and colloquial fillers. Use past or present tense consistently and give a concrete situation showing how happy music affects you.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited. For instance, when I feel uninspired at work, I play upbeat pop songs and, as a result, I feel more energetic and creative within a few minutes.

× Every time when I was done or uninspired, uh, most of the time I just turned to listening to music and every time you just turn me on and you know, make me feel creative and inspired.

✓ Every time I felt down or uninspired, most of the time I just turned to listening to music, and it would lift me and make me feel creative and inspired.

The original sentence mixes past and present tenses and contains informal or incorrect expressions. 'When I was done' is unnatural here; use 'I felt down' to express feeling sad. 'Turned to listening to music' is acceptable but can be simplified. 'Every time you just turn me on' incorrectly addresses the listener and uses present tense; context requires referring to music generally in the past: use 'it would lift me' or 'it lifted me.' Also restructure the sentence for clarity and correct tense consistency. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) and replace awkward phrases with natural alternatives.