Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases.

例: It depends on my mood. When I’m happy I prefer upbeat, happy songs because their lively rhythms lift my energy; however, when I’m sad I often choose slow, melancholic music because it helps me process my feelings.

提案: Answer directly, use correct verbs and fewer fillers, then give a brief, specific reason or example. Use linking words like 'because' to connect ideas and show cause and effect.

例: Yes, it definitely does. Happy music boosts my energy because the fast tempo and cheerful lyrics make me want to move and smile, for example I often start dancing or feel motivated to do chores when I play upbeat songs.

× You know, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I love to, like to. Prefer sad music and sometimes happy music and just depend on my mood.

✓ You know, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I like sad music and sometimes I like happy music; it just depends on my mood.

This sentence has issues with present tense usage and sentence structure. 'Love to, like to. Prefer' is fragmented and mixes infinitive forms incorrectly. Use the simple present 'I like' consistently for habitual preferences. Combine clauses with proper connectors or punctuation to make the sentence complete and clear. Use 'I like sad music' and 'I like happy music' rather than 'Prefer sad music' alone, or say 'I prefer sad music at times' for a full sentence.

× Sometimes I'm happy so I like to happy music.

✓ Sometimes I'm happy so I like happy music.

The phrase 'like to happy music' is incorrect because 'happy' is an adjective modifying 'music' and does not require the infinitive 'to.' Use the verb 'like' directly with the noun phrase: 'like happy music.'

× Sometimes I'm upset and I like.

✓ Sometimes I'm upset and I like sad music.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object after 'I like.' This is a sentence structure error. To be clear, add the object 'sad music' to complete the thought: 'I like sad music.'

× When I uh, hear some happy music, uh, boots my energy and uh, I feeling that uh, my happiness is so uh, excited and exaggerated.

✓ When I hear happy music, it boosts my energy and I feel that my happiness is very strong and intense.

Multiple grammar issues: 'boots' is a misspelling of 'boosts'; subject and verb agreement requires 'it boosts my energy.' 'I feeling' is incorrect; use the simple present 'I feel.' 'So excited and exaggerated' is unnatural: 'exaggerated' is wrong here; use 'strong' or 'intense.' Also remove filler words. The -ing form 'feeling' would be correct in continuous form ('I am feeling') but the simple present 'I feel' fits habitual reaction better.