Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence (who your favourite teacher is), then give 1–2 specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "and") to connect ideas and keep sentences natural. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My favourite teacher was my elementary school English teacher, Mr. Kim, because he made lessons fun with games and stories. We are still in touch now, and I appreciate his kindness and sense of humour.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then briefly explain your reason with a clear example. Avoid hesitations and unclear phrases. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to show logic. Keep the reply to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I do not want to be a teacher because I prefer working on creative projects with physical materials. For example, I would like to design and build experimental prototypes in a workshop rather than teach children in a classroom.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence saying who you remember, then give specific characteristics and a brief reason why she is memorable. Avoid vague or contradictory phrases and check grammar. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect reason and result.

例: Yes, I remember my elementary school math teacher, Ms. Lee, very well because she was strict and had high expectations. Because her lessons were challenging, I learned to concentrate and work harder, which made her unforgettable.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (use present perfect for continuing states). Explain briefly how you keep in touch and why. Avoid confusing statements; be specific about which teachers and the method of contact (for example, social media or meetings).

例: Yes, I am still in touch with some primary school teachers. Because my schools shared many teachers, I see them at reunions or contact them on social media to catch up occasionally.

提案: Give a clear, specific description of the help you received with an example. Replace unclear phrases with concrete actions and use linking words (e.g., "for example," "because") to explain the impact. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and correct odd words like "Balio's".

例: He helped me mainly by building a personal connection; for example, he asked me a simple question every day like "How was your day?" Because of this attention, I became more confident and motivated to participate in class.

提案: Answer directly and give a concise reason with a supporting detail. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use linking phrases such as "because" and provide one specific example or memory to justify your preference.

例: I would say yes, because I spent more time with my primary school teachers and made many pleasant memories. For instance, my primary teacher organised outdoor activities that made learning enjoyable and memorable.

× He is a teacher from my elementary school and he was very humorless and his class was so fun.

✓ He is a teacher from my elementary school; he was very humorous and his class was very fun.

The student used 'humorless' incorrectly; 'humorous' means full of humor, which fits the context. Also 'so fun' is informal; 'very fun' is acceptable. Maintain tense consistency: present reference 'is a teacher' and past 'was humorous' is acceptable because describing past classes. Suggest using 'humorous' for positive sense and 'very fun' for clarity.

× We still We still and we still in connected and he is so nice.

✓ We are still in contact, and he is very nice.

Original sentence repeats phrases and uses incorrect structure 'in connected'. Correct form is 'in contact' or 'still connected'. Use present continuous 'are still' or simple present 'are' for ongoing state. Replace 'so nice' with 'very nice' for formality.

× No I don't want to be I am more motivated to create something new maybe with materials not with child, what children?

✓ No, I don't want to be a teacher. I am more motivated to create something new, maybe with materials, not with children.

Run-on sentence and missing article before 'teacher'. 'I don't want to be' needs an object. 'child' should be plural 'children' and 'what children?' is unclear and removed. Added commas for clarity.

× Yes, a teacher from my Elementary School is very unique and I remember her clearly.

✓ Yes, a teacher from my elementary school was very unique, and I remember her clearly.

Capitalization of 'Elementary School' is unnecessary mid-sentence; use lowercase. If referring to a past teacher, use past tense 'was'. The sentence flows better with a comma before conjunction.

× She was a bit aggressive and her class was troublesome, so I remember her in but way honestly.

✓ She was a bit aggressive, and her class was troublesome, so I remember her in a strange way, honestly.

Original 'in but way' is incorrect. Likely meant 'in a strange way'. Added comma and 'a' before 'strange way'. Maintained past tense.

× Yes, I still connected with some of them.

✓ Yes, I am still connected with some of them.

Missing auxiliary verb: 'still connected' needs 'am' to form proper present state. Alternatively 'I am still in touch with some of them.' Use present simple continuous/state.

× My school, my elementary school, secondary school and high school have the same teachers so it is unnatural that I still connected with them.

✓ My elementary, secondary, and high schools had the same teachers, so it is natural that I am still connected with them.

Parallel noun phrases adjusted: 'elementary, secondary, and high schools'. Tense: if referring to past schooling, 'had the same teachers' is better. 'Unnatural' was incorrect given logic; likely meant 'natural'. 'I still connected' needs 'am'.

× He helped me a lot in Balio's way.

✓ He helped me a lot in Bali's way.

If referring to Bali (place), correct proper noun spelling is 'Bali'. However the meaning 'in Bali's way' is unclear; possibly meant 'in his own way' or 'in a unique way'. If 'Balio' was a mistake, replace with intended phrase. Suggest checking intended reference.

× But the biggest part is just connecting.

✓ But the most important part was simply the connection.

'Biggest part' is awkward; 'most important part' is clearer. Maintain past tense if describing past events (teacher asked questions daily). 'Just connecting' -> 'simply the connection' or 'just connecting with me'.

× I felt connected because he asked me a question every day.

✓ I felt connected because he asked me a question every day.

Sentence is acceptable; minor note: could say 'a question' or 'questions'. No grammatical correction required other than confirming tense consistency.

× It was a simple question like how was your day?

✓ It was a simple question like 'How was your day?'.

Reported speech requires question formatting; in speech, keep the question form. Also capitalize first word. Alternatively: 'He asked simple questions like, "How was your day?"' Need punctuation to indicate quoted question.

× But it's funny.

✓ But it was memorable/funny.

Tense consistency: if referring to past events, 'it was funny' fits better. 'Funny' is acceptable; 'memorable' may better capture intended meaning.

× Um it's a hard question.

✓ Um, that's a hard question.

Use contraction 'that's' or 'that is' to refer to the current question. Add comma after interjection 'Um'.

× It's difficult to compare them but I would like to say yes, I say yes.

✓ It's difficult to compare them, but I would like to say yes.

Redundant repetition 'I say yes' unnecessary. Added comma before 'but'.

× I think it's simply because I spent more time with teachers from elementary school so I had more memories, more good ones with them.

✓ I think it's simply because I spent more time with my elementary school teachers, so I have more memories and more good ones with them.

Clarified 'teachers from elementary school' to 'my elementary school teachers'. Tense: 'have more memories' fits ongoing relevance. Added commas and conjunction for clarity.