Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with verb forms and make sentences more concise and varied. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar errors (e.g., 'she teaches', 'she helps', 'she gives'). Vary sentence structure and avoid repeating simple adjectives.

例: My favourite teacher is my science teacher because she explains concepts clearly and confidently. For example, she gives detailed feedback on my lab reports and helps me with experiments, and she often runs extra classes to prepare students for exams.

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary and collocations (e.g., 'work in healthcare', 'attend to patients', 'provide care'). Give one clear reason and one brief supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition ('help them and give care and provide care').

例: Not really. I plan to work in healthcare because I enjoy attending to patients and providing medical care, and I find that role more fulfilling than classroom teaching.

提案: Avoid repetition and fix grammar (e.g., 'she helped me with all my projects', 'she taught me confidence'). Use a clear topic sentence and two concise supporting details with linking words. Remove duplicated phrases ('very polite' repeated) and redundant fillers.

例: Yes, I remember my science teacher from school because she was very kind and supportive. For instance, she helped me with all my projects and gave extra lessons, which greatly improved my confidence in science.

提案: Provide a complete response and correct phrasing (e.g., 'I see them occasionally', 'I recognise them when I meet them and I greet them'). Use linking words to explain frequency and reason. Avoid fragments and finish sentences fully.

例: Not really. I only see them occasionally — maybe once or twice a year — and when I do I recognise them and briefly greet them.

提案: Give specific, complete examples and correct verb forms (e.g., 'she taught me', 'she built my confidence'). Use linking words to list ways she helped and avoid unfinished sentences. Aim for two concrete effects of her help.

例: She helped me in several ways: she taught me practical laboratory skills and gave constructive feedback on my reports, and as a result she helped build my confidence in science.

提案: Make the comparison clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., 'I don't prefer one over the other') and then provide 1–2 contrasting reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'however'. Avoid repetition ('both' used too many times).

例: I don't prefer one more than the other; I like both. Although they have different teaching styles, both my primary and high school teachers were confident, polite and supportive in their own ways.

× She's well educated, she teach with confidence so I feel very comfortable with her.

✓ She's well educated; she teaches with confidence, so I feel very comfortable with her.

The subject 'she' is third person singular, so the verb must take the -s form in the simple present ('teach' -> 'teaches'). Also use punctuation to separate clauses and include a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so'. Suggestion: always add -s for he/she/it in present simple and review sentence punctuation.

× For example, she gives clear feedback on my lab reports and help me in my projects, and she also give extra classes for the students.

✓ For example, she gives clear feedback on my lab reports and helps me with my projects, and she also gives extra classes for the students.

Parallel verbs with third person singular subject require -s ending ('help' -> 'helps', 'give' -> 'gives'). Also 'help me in my projects' is better as 'help me with my projects' for natural collocation. Suggestion: for third person singular ensure every verb in the clause has -s and use common prepositions like 'help with'.

× I'm very happy with my healthcare because I love to attend patients, help them and give care and provide care to them.

✓ I'm very happy with my healthcare because I love to attend to patients, help them, and provide care to them.

The verb phrase 'attend patients' needs the preposition 'to' ('attend to patients'). Also avoid redundancy ('give care and provide care' repeats the same idea). Suggestion: use 'attend to patients' and a single verb 'provide care' for clarity.

× Yes, I still remember my science teacher because she's very polite and very kind to me and she helps with, she helps to me with my all the projects and she also gave me extra classes for my work and she she's very knowledgeable and she teach me confidence and she's very polite.

✓ Yes, I still remember my science teacher because she's very polite and kind to me. She helped me with all my projects and also gave me extra classes for my work. She's very knowledgeable and she taught me confidence.

Multiple errors: inconsistent tense and wrong verb forms. 'Helps to me with my all the projects' should be 'helped me with all my projects' (past tense for past actions, 'my all' -> 'all my'). 'She teach me confidence' should be 'she taught me confidence' (past tense). Remove repeated 'she's very polite'. Suggestion: keep past events in past tense, correct word order ('all my projects'), and use 'teach' -> 'taught'.

× I recognize them whenever I meet them in a year or in a month. I greet them and I.

✓ I recognize them whenever I meet them, whether it's once a year or once a month. I greet them when I see them.

Original is unclear and unfinished ('I greet them and I.'). 'In a year or in a month' is awkward; better: 'once a year or once a month' or 'whether it's once a year or once a month'. Finish the second sentence with a full clause. Suggestion: complete thoughts and use clearer time expressions.

× She helped me in many ways. She teach me so much and she build my confidence and she.

✓ She helped me in many ways. She taught me so much and she built my confidence.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb forms: since the first sentence uses past tense 'helped', subsequent verbs should be past tense: 'teach' -> 'taught', 'build' -> 'built'. The sentence was also incomplete ('and she.'). Suggestion: keep consistent tense and complete the sentence.

× It's not like that I love. I like both of them because they both are equally confident and polite and kind to me, because they both have different personalities and they both are very good in their own ways.

✓ It's not like that; I love them both. I like both of them because they are equally confident, polite, and kind to me. They have different personalities and are each very good in their own ways.

Awkward word order and redundancy: 'It's not like that I love' is unclear; better 'I love them both' or 'It's not like that; I love them both.' Repeated 'both' and 'because' create run-on structure. Use parallel adjective list with commas and simplify repeated phrases ('they both are' -> 'they are' or 'they are each'). Suggestion: restructure sentences for clarity and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× She gives clear feedback on my lab reports and helps me with my projects, and she also gives extra classes for the students.

✓ She gives clear feedback on my lab reports and helps me with my projects, and she also gives extra classes to the students.

The common collocation is 'give extra classes to students' rather than 'for the students'. Both are understandable but 'to' is more natural in this context. Suggestion: prefer 'give classes to students' when indicating the recipients.