Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar, give one clear reason then add a specific example. Avoid repetition (e.g., "internal medicine" repeated) and small errors ("dresses so nice" → "dressed nicely"). Use a linking phrase to connect reason and example.

例: I had a favorite teacher during medical school. She was a dermatologist who taught general internal medicine, and I admired her because she dressed neatly and explained difficult topics clearly. For example, she summarized complex conditions on one page, which made them much easier to remember.

提案: Clarify the distinction between 'teacher' and 'professor' briefly, use correct phrasing ("more like a professor") and expand with a specific way you would impact students. Add a linking word to connect your aim and method.

例: Yes, I would prefer to be a professor rather than a school teacher because I want to influence students' careers. For instance, I would mentor research projects and encourage disciplined study habits so students see how hard work leads to success.

提案: Correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., "my father's math teacher", "knew how to teach in detail"). Be specific about what he did and the effect. Avoid vague phrases like "further mass" — use 'calculus' or the correct subject name. Use linking words to show cause and effect.

例: Yes, I remember my father's math teacher from high school. He knew how to teach in detail and used clear step-by-step methods. As a result, I began to enjoy calculus after he demonstrated solving integrals and gave me practical tips that improved my exam scores.

提案: Make sentences more natural and concise. Use correct tense and avoid repetition ("we visit, I met them"). Provide one brief specific detail about the visits. Use a linking word to contrast lack of contact with occasional meetings.

例: No, I'm not in regular contact with my primary school teachers because they were strict and not very friendly. However, when I visit the school occasionally, I meet them and feel happy to reconnect.

提案: This answer is unclear and contains many errors. State one clear way the teacher helped you, correct subject names (e.g., 'physics' and 'calculus'), and remove nonsensical fragments ("gave me medicines"). Use a coherent structure: topic sentence + specific example + result.

例: My favorite teacher helped me improve my grades by teaching me problem-solving techniques. For example, she broke down physics equations step by step and gave me practice problems; as a result my exam scores improved significantly.

提案: Make the contrast clearer and correct many language errors ("primary scriptures" → "primary school teachers", subject-verb agreement). Use linking words (e.g., "because", "however") and provide one concrete example of how high school teachers helped you.

例: I prefer my high school teachers because they understood my weaknesses and offered extra support. For instance, my biology teacher gave me extra tutorials and tailored assignments, which helped me improve my understanding and grades, whereas my primary teachers were stricter and less supportive.

× She was a dermatologist but she was teaching US internal medicine general topics in internal medicine.

✓ She was a dermatologist but she taught general internal medicine topics.

The sentence uses progressive 'was teaching' unnecessarily for a habitual or regular role; use simple past 'taught' to indicate her teaching role. Also reduce redundancy ('internal medicine' repeated) and reorder modifiers for natural English.

× I like her because she dresses so nice to class and her classes are usually very short and easy to understand.

✓ I liked her because she dressed very nicely for class, and her lessons were usually short and easy to understand.

Use past tense 'liked/dressed' to match 'I used to have' and 'was'. Use adverb 'nicely' rather than adjective 'nice' to modify the verb 'dressed'. Use 'for class' not 'to class'. Match tense across clauses.

× Yes, but not a teacher a more like a professor.

✓ Yes, but not as a school teacher; more like a professor.

Original lacks connectors and has word order errors. Insert 'as' to show role comparison and separate ideas with a semicolon or comma. 'More like a professor' expresses intended contrast.

× I want to impact student lives and to tell them that hard work and diligence is the key to success.

✓ I want to impact students' lives and tell them that hard work and diligence are the keys to success.

Use plural possessive 'students' to indicate multiple students and plural verb 'are' because 'hard work and diligence' is a compound subject requiring plural agreement. Also remove unnecessary 'to' before second verb for parallel infinitives.

× Yes, I remember my father maths teacher when I was in high school.

✓ Yes, I remember my father's math teacher from when I was in high school.

Use possessive 'father's' to show the teacher belonged to your father. Use 'from when' for time reference. In American English 'math' is standard; 'maths' is British but keep consistent style.

× He was a good teacher, he knows how to teach in details and I like that about him.

✓ He was a good teacher; he knew how to teach in detail, and I liked that about him.

Maintain past tense 'knew' and 'liked' to match 'was' and the time frame. Use 'in detail' (singular) not 'in details'. Also split run-on sentence with semicolon or conjunction.

× For example, I begin to like further mass after he showed me some equations that and gave me some tips on how to do better on how to get good score.

✓ For example, I began to like further math after he showed me some equations and gave me tips on how to improve and get good scores.

Use past tense 'began' to match 'showed' and 'gave'. Remove extraneous words 'that' and duplicate 'how to'. Use 'math' and plural 'scores' or 'a good score' for natural English.

× Well, I'm not in touch with my primary school teacher because most of them, they were very, very disciplined.

✓ Well, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because most of them were very, very strict.

Mismatch between singular 'teacher' and plural 'them' fixed by using plural 'teachers'. Avoid redundant subject pronoun 'they' after 'them'. Use 'strict' rather than 'disciplined' for teacher behavior.

× But when I went to school to visit, we visit, I met them and I was happy to see them.

✓ But when I went back to visit the school, I met them and I was happy to see them.

Resolve tense and repetition: use past 'went' and 'met'. Remove awkward 'we visit' fragment. Use 'went back to visit the school' for clarity.

× My favorite teacher has helped me to. Pass my exam easily.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me to pass my exams easily.

Combine fragmented sentence into one coherent past-tense sentence. Use past 'helped' to match the time context and pluralize 'exams' if appropriate.

× I used to have issues with my physics and my further mass then my grades were not very good but when they are teaching me they showed me the equations.

✓ I used to have issues with my physics and further math; my grades were not very good, but when they taught me, they showed me the equations.

Maintain past tense 'taught' instead of 'are teaching'. Remove extra 'my' before 'further math'. Use semicolon or commas to join clauses and ensure consistent past tense.

× ** *** gave me medicines and I said to have good grade from that.

✓ They gave me study materials and tips, and I said I would get a good grade because of that.

Original is unclear and contains wrong word 'medicines'. Replace with plausible 'study materials and tips'. Use reported intention 'I said I would get a good grade' to indicate outcome. Ensure grammatical structure: subject + verb + object.

× I feel that my high school teachers, they know me and they, they knew my weak points and they were ready to help me.

✓ I feel that my high school teachers knew me; they understood my weak points and were ready to help me.

Avoid redundant pronouns 'they, they' and keep tense consistent (past 'knew/understood'). Use semicolon or commas for flow.

× But my primary scriptures were, well, were not really what I wanted.

✓ But my primary school teachers were, well, not really what I wanted.

'Scriptures' is incorrect word choice; replace with 'school teachers'. Remove repeated 'were'. Keep natural spoken filler 'well' but ensure sentence remains grammatical.

× They were judgmental, but my parents was.

✓ They were judgmental, and so were my parents.

Subject-verb agreement: 'parents' is plural, so use 'were' not 'was'. Rephrase to natural coordination 'so were my parents.'

× My second teacher understood me better.

✓ My secondary school teacher understood me better.

'Second teacher' is unclear; 'secondary school teacher' clarifies the level (high school) and reads naturally. Keep past tense 'understood'.