Teachers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific examples of how she helps you, and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid redundancy and grammar errors (e.g., use "who" for people, correct tense and articles).

例: Yes. My favorite teacher is Sivan Deepika, who teaches my health management course. She is the best teacher I have ever had because she explains difficult topics clearly and always helps me when I struggle with assignments. For example, she stayed after class last month to review my project, which helped me improve my grade.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then briefly explain why your goals changed with a specific reason or example. Correct grammar (past tense, articles) and use linking words like "because" or "however." Keep to maximum five sentences.

例: No, I do not want to be a teacher. Although I wanted to teach as a child, my interests shifted because I became fascinated by programming and technology. For instance, I enjoy building small apps and learning new languages, so I plan to pursue a career as a software developer.

提案: Provide a clearer, correctly ordered response: state who the teacher was, specify one or two exact ways she helped you, and avoid vague praise. Use correct grammar and linking words like "for example" or "because."

例: Yes. I remember my high school teacher, Ms. Ramanipur. She supported me academically by offering extra tutoring when I struggled with math and gave practical study tips. Because of her help, my grades improved significantly.

提案: Answer directly and give a concise, specific example of contact (how often, by phone/email) and what they discuss. Fix grammar and avoid repetition; use linking words like "often" or "for example."

例: Yes, I am still in touch with one of my former teachers, who taught me English two years ago. We usually communicate by phone once a month, and she often asks about my studies and gives career advice. Her guidance has helped me plan my next steps.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and provide the specific situation, actions the teacher took, and the result. Use correct grammar and concise linking words like "for example" and "as a result."

例: She helped me during a difficult chemistry practical in senior secondary school. I could not complete the experiment correctly, so she explained each step patiently and demonstrated the technique. As a result, I performed the experiment successfully and received full marks.

× Yes I have a favorite teacher as now I am studying about health management course and there is a teacher her name is Sivan Deepika.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher. I am currently studying a health management course, and the teacher's name is Sivan Deepika.

The original sentence misuses articles and runs clauses together. Use 'a health management course' (indefinite article) and show possession with 'the teacher's name is'. Also split into two sentences for clarity.

× She is the best teacher that I've ever had because she always helps me in my every struggle and the problem that I face.

✓ She is the best teacher I have ever had because she always helps me with every struggle and problem I face.

Remove unnecessary 'that' after 'best teacher' and use 'helps me with' rather than 'helps me in'. Use 'every struggle and problem I face' for natural word order.

× Well no I don't want to become a teacher in the future as when I was a child I have passion to become a teacher but now it's not considered as one as I am interested in becoming a software developer.

✓ No, I don't want to become a teacher in the future. When I was a child I had a passion to become a teacher, but now I am more interested in becoming a software developer.

Mixes present and past tenses incorrectly: 'have passion' should be past 'had a passion' because it refers to childhood. Use 'more interested' for comparison and split into clearer sentences.

× I have lot of interest in technology and how the things are made-up with the help of modern era.

✓ I have a lot of interest in technology and in how things are made in the modern era.

Use the article 'a' before 'lot of', remove 'the' before 'things', use 'made' not 'made-up' and phrase 'in the modern era' for natural expression.

× Yes, when I was studying in my seniors can do there was a teacher her name was Ramanipur and she was the best teacher because she supported me in each and every situation and she helped me to tackle the problem that I face in my studies.

✓ Yes, when I was studying in my senior years there was a teacher named Ramanipur. She was the best teacher because she supported me in every situation and helped me tackle the problems I faced in my studies.

Original has unclear phrase 'studying in my seniors can do'—replace with 'studying in my senior years'. Use 'named Ramanipur' and correct tense agreement 'problems I faced'. Remove redundant words like 'each and'.

× Apart from this she intelligently solved a problem as she was good as gold.

✓ She also solved problems intelligently because she was very kind and capable.

Phrase 'good as gold' is informal and awkward here; use 'very kind and capable'. Use plural 'problems' if general, and reorder for natural meaning.

× Well, yes, I'm still in touch with my teachers as currently I talk with my teacher.

✓ Yes, I'm still in touch with my teachers; I regularly talk with them.

Avoid awkward 'as currently I talk with my teacher'; use 'regularly talk with them' and ensure agreement 'teachers...them'.

× Two years ago she was my English teacher.

✓ Two years ago, she was my English teacher.

Add comma for clarity; tense is correct but punctuation improves structure.

× Apart from this I always talk to her.

✓ I also always talk to her.

Use 'also' instead of 'apart from this' for smoother connection; maintain present simple for habitual action.

× When I got free time, she usually called me and asked about my future, that what you are doing now.

✓ When I got free time, she usually called me and asked about my future, such as what I was doing then.

Adverb placement and tense mismatch: 'usually called' (past habitual) pairs with 'asked ... what I was doing then'. Use 'such as' to introduce example. Alternatively use present for ongoing habits.

× And she also helped me to improve my further fruitful future.

✓ She also helped me improve my future prospects.

'Further fruitful future' is redundant and unidiomatic; use 'future prospects' or 'my future' for clarity. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helped me'.

× But as I remember reading my senior secondary there was my chemistry practical and at that time I was not able to do a proper experiment and my teacher helped me a lot with doing this by explaining her useful advices and also help me to do the particular experience.

✓ I remember during senior secondary chemistry practicals I was not able to conduct the experiment properly, and my teacher helped me a lot by giving useful advice and assisting me with the experiment.

Use 'conduct the experiment' or 'do the experiment' rather than 'do a proper experiment'; 'advices' is incorrect (advice is uncountable); use 'by giving useful advice and assisting me' for correct verb forms and clarity.

× Then I got the full marks in that practice.

✓ Then I got full marks for that practical.

Use 'full marks' (no 'the') and 'for that practical' (practical = practical exam/practical class). Adjust article and noun choice for natural phrasing.