Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct the grammar and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Avoid repeating 'hygienic' incorrectly and reduce hesitations.

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. I try to clean and organize my room every weekend because a neat environment helps me concentrate and stay healthy. For example, I always put books on the shelf and wipe surfaces to avoid dust.

提案: Improve past-tense usage and reduce filler words. Give a clear past statement, explain why with a specific example, and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I was tidy as a child because my mother taught me good habits. For instance, she made me put toys away after playing and checked my bed every morning, which helped me keep my room clean.

提案: Correct vocabulary and sentence structure, avoid fillers, and be specific about habits. Use linking words for clarity and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I keep my study space tidy by wiping surfaces and my laptop with disinfectant regularly to kill germs. I also clear papers and dust from the desk before I start studying so the area stays organized.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve coherence. State your opinion clearly, give one strong reason with a brief explanation, and finish with a concluding sentence. Use correct pronouns and plural forms.

例: Yes, I think it is necessary to be tidy because a clean environment reduces the risk of illness. For example, fewer germs on surfaces mean fewer colds, so keeping places tidy helps protect our health.

× I would love to keep my things tidy because I am a hygienic person.

✓ I would love to keep my things tidy because I am a hygienic person.

No grammatical correction needed; however, 'hygienic person' is unnatural - 'a hygienic person' is acceptable but better: 'a hygienic person' or 'someone who values hygiene'. This is stylistic, not a listed grammar type. No change required.

× So I keep a hygienic around my surroundings and when my surroundings is well maintained then my health is also good.

✓ So I keep my surroundings hygienic, and when they are well maintained, my health is better.

Incorrect adjective placement and agreement: 'a hygienic around my surroundings' is ungrammatical and 'surroundings is' shows singular/plural mismatch. This fits 'Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs' and 'Singular and plural issue/Subject-verb agreement'. Use 'my surroundings hygienic' (adjective after object) and plural verb 'they are'. Also 'my health is better' is more natural than 'is also good'.

× Uh, yeah, from childhood, I become a tidy person to because of my mother lessons.

✓ Uh, yeah, from childhood, I became a tidy person because of my mother's lessons.

Wrong verb tense: 'become' should be past 'became' to match 'from childhood'. Also possessive required: 'my mother's lessons'. 'to' is extraneous and removed.

× My mother used to, uh, give lessons on, uh, well maintained, uh, discipline and tidiness.

✓ My mother used to give lessons on maintaining discipline and tidiness.

Awkward phrasing: 'give lessons on well maintained discipline' is incorrect. Use verb form 'maintaining' to express the action. This aligns with 'Verb + -ing form' (maintaining) and adjective misuse.

× So that's why I learned, uh, to live in a hygienic place and maintain my room, uh, hygienic, clean.

✓ So that's why I learned to live in a hygienic place and keep my room clean.

Incorrect combination 'maintain my room hygienic, clean'. Use 'keep my room clean' or 'maintain my room hygienic' is incorrect. Use base verb 'keep' with adjective 'clean'.

× Umm, I usually type my study space, uh, like with our disinfector, which kills the germs and also I wipe my, uh, laptop with the disinfector so I can stay healthy.

✓ Umm, I usually tidy my study space using our disinfectant, which kills germs, and I also wipe my laptop with the disinfectant so I can stay healthy.

Multiple issues: 'type' is wrong word (should be 'tidy'), 'disinfector' incorrect noun (should be 'disinfectant'), and article use before 'germs' not needed. This falls under 'Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs' and 'Incorrect use of words' but corrected as per allowed types.

× Uh, usually when I sit on table make, I make sure that it is, it is free of dust.

✓ Usually when I sit at the table, I make sure that it is free of dust.

Preposition error: 'sit on table' should be 'sit at the table'. Extra word 'make' after 'table' is incorrect. Also repetition 'it is, it is' is unnecessary. This is 'Incorrect use of prepositions' and 'Sentence structure errors'.

× Absolutely yes, everyone should be tidy because it can reduce, uh, it can reduce the health issues because when we are living in a hygienic and clean environment, uh, that, uh, that usually, uh, give us a free of health issues, a free life from health issues.

✓ Absolutely yes, everyone should be tidy because it can reduce health problems. When we live in a hygienic, clean environment, it usually gives us a life free from health issues.

Redundant phrases and incorrect grammar: 'reduce the health issues' should be 'reduce health problems'; 'we are living' can be 'we live' for general statements (present simple). 'that usually give us a free of health issues' has subject-verb disagreement ('that'/'it' with 'gives') and wrong word order. Revised to correct verb tense, agreement, and natural phrasing.

× So I think, uh, yes, every should.

✓ So I think, yes, everyone should.

Pronoun error: 'every' is incomplete; should be 'everyone'. This is 'Incorrect use of pronouns' or determiner; corrected to 'everyone' to refer to all people.