Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện độ chính xác từ vựng và ngữ pháp, tránh lỗi chọn từ (ví dụ “cook my books” sai) và dùng câu rõ ràng, ngắn gọn hơn. Nên có câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó nêu 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể liên kết logic bằng từ nối như “because” hoặc “for example”. Hạn chế lặp ý và giữ tối đa 4-5 câu.

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy because it helps me find items quickly and stay focused. For example, I tidy my desk every evening and place my books neatly on the shelf. This routine saves me time when I study.

提案: Sửa lỗi từ vựng và collocation (ví dụ “tightly” không đúng, “on the safe” sai). Dùng thì quá khứ phù hợp và cấu trúc ngắn gọn: câu chủ đề nêu thói quen, tiếp theo giải thích nguyên nhân và dẫn ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng từ nối như “because” hoặc “for instance”.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my parents encouraged me to do so. For instance, I always made my bed each morning and put my books on a shelf before going to school.

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và trật tự từ (ví dụ “keep my studies by tidy” sai). Dùng từ vựng chính xác cho vật dụng lưu trữ (boxes, shelves) và nối ý mạch lạc với “so” hoặc “for example”. Nên nêu một phương pháp cụ thể và thời lượng để rõ ràng. Giữ câu ngắn gọn và tránh lặp ý.

例: I keep my study space tidy by returning items to their place after use and discarding unnecessary papers. I use boxes and shelves to organize books, and I spend about five minutes each evening clearing my desk so I can focus better.

提案: Trả lời rõ ràng và có lý do thuyết phục, nhưng có thể làm phong phú hơn bằng cách thêm một so sánh hoặc kết quả cụ thể. Dùng cấu trúc câu gọn, tránh lặp từ (“tidy” nhiều lần); thay bằng từ đồng nghĩa như “organized”.

例: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because it reduces stress and saves time. For example, when my desk is organized I can concentrate more easily and complete tasks faster than when it is cluttered.

× For example, I always tidy my desk every evening and cook my books on the shelf.

✓ For example, I always tidy my desk every evening and put my books on the shelf.

The verb 'cook' is incorrect in this context; the intended action is 'put' (place). This is a vocabulary/word choice error rather than a tense form, but it involves using an incorrect verb form. Replace 'cook' with the correct verb 'put' to convey the intended meaning. Ensure the verb matches the action of placing objects on a shelf.

× Well, I used to keep my room quite tightly when I was a child because my parents always told me to clean it and it was easier to find my toys.

✓ Well, I used to keep my room quite tidy when I was a child because my parents always told me to clean it and it was easier to find my toys.

The adverb 'tightly' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'tidy' to describe the state of the room. 'Tightly' relates to tightness (adverb), not neatness. Use 'tidy' to describe orderly condition. Maintain past habitual 'used to' which is correct.

× For example, I would put my books on the safe every evening and make my bed before going to school.

✓ For example, I would put my books in the safe every evening and make my bed before going to school.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect with 'safe' (a container). Use 'in' to indicate placing objects inside something. If the student meant a bookshelf, use 'on the shelf'. Choose preposition based on whether the object is inside (in) or on top of (on).

× Well, I usually keep my studies by tidy by putting things back after I use them and throwing away junk.

✓ Well, I usually keep my study area tidy by putting things back after I use them and throwing away junk.

The phrase 'keep my studies by tidy by' is ungrammatical. Correct sentence structure needs a noun phrase 'study area' or 'workspace' and the pattern 'keep X tidy by doing Y'. Rearranged to 'keep my study area tidy by...' to fix word order and clarity.

× I also use most boxes and a safe to organize books because it helps me find things quickly and stay focused.

✓ I also use many boxes and a safe to organize books because it helps me find things quickly and stay focused.

'Most boxes' is unclear/wrong here; 'many boxes' or 'several boxes' correctly quantifies countable items. Use appropriate quantifier with countable noun 'boxes'.

× For example, every evening I spend 5 minutes clearing papers.

✓ For example, every evening I spend five minutes clearing papers.

Numeric style: spell out small numbers in formal speech; grammatically sentence is fine but using 'five' is stylistically better. Also 'clearing papers' is acceptable; could be 'clearing away papers' if clearer.

× Well, I think it is necessary to be tidy because a tidy place helps you find things quickly and it reduces stress.

✓ Well, I think it is necessary to be tidy because a tidy place helps you find things quickly and reduces stress.

Redundant subject 'it' before 'reduces' is unnecessary. Use consistent subject 'a tidy place' to perform both actions: 'helps' and 'reduces'. This is a minor sentence structure/punctuation improvement.

× For example, I always keep my desk organized when I study so I can concentrate better and finish my work faster.

✓ For example, I always keep my desk organized when I study so that I can concentrate better and finish my work faster.

Adding 'that' after 'so' clarifies purpose and is preferred in formal speech. Tense and verb forms are otherwise correct.