Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct tense/grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'helped' → 'helps', 'next day' → 'the next day').

例: Yes, I do — keeping things tidy helps me stay focused and maintain hygiene. For example, I always put my books away after studying so I can concentrate better the next day.

提案: Provide one clear topic sentence and one specific supporting detail, fix minor phrasing and article use. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly and avoid redundant words.

例: Yes, I used to — my mother taught me to be disciplined, so I would put my toys away and make my bed every morning.

提案: Use present simple consistently and combine ideas into a coherent short answer. Avoid sentence fragments and correct phrasing ('That's why', 'after I finish'). Add one linking word for flow.

例: I usually put my books and materials back in their designated spots after I finish using them, so I can find them easily later and keep my desk tidy.

提案: Produce one clear topic sentence and two concise, correctly formed supporting details. Correct grammar errors ('If you don't keep things tidy', remove duplicate words) and avoid trailing prepositions. Use linking words like 'because' and 'also'.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is essential because it prevents insects and bad smells, and it also makes it much easier to find things when I need them.

× Being organized also helped me stay disciplined.

✓ Being organized also helps me stay disciplined.

The student is describing a general present habit, so the present simple tense 'helps' is required rather than the past 'helped'. Use present simple for habitual or general truths.

× For example, I always put my books away after studying so I can focus better next day.

✓ For example, I always put my books away after studying so I can focus better the next day.

The phrase 'next day' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific following day. Also the main verbs 'put' and 'can focus' are correctly in present/simple for habitual actions.

× My mother taught me to be self disciplined so I had to put my toys away and make my bed every day after.

✓ My mother taught me to be self-disciplined, so I had to put my toys away and make my bed every day afterwards.

Use the hyphen in 'self-disciplined'. 'After' is not correct here; use 'afterwards' to mean 'following that' or place 'every day' before 'afterwards'. A comma before 'so' improves clarity. The past tense 'taught' and 'had to' are appropriate for childhood habits.

× I usually put my toys and books back in their designated spots after I finished using them.

✓ I usually put my toys and books back in their designated spots after I finish using them.

The sentence begins with 'I usually' indicating a habitual present action, so sequence of time should use present simple 'finish' rather than past 'finished'. Keep tenses consistent for habitual actions.

× That's way I can find them easily later in my room. Stays tidy.

✓ That's why I can find them easily later in my room, and it stays tidy.

'That's way' is incorrect; use 'That's why' to give a reason. 'Stays tidy' is a fragment lacking a subject; include 'it' to form 'it stays tidy'. Combine into one sentence with a conjunction for clarity.

× If don't keeps keep things tidy it can attract insects and create bad smells in.

✓ If you don't keep things tidy, it can attract insects and create bad smells.

The conditional requires a subject 'you' and the base verb 'keep' after 'don't'. 'Keeps' is wrong here. Remove the trailing 'in' which is unnecessary. Add a comma after the conditional clause.

× It also makes it harder to find find things when I need them.

✓ It also makes it harder to find things when I need them.

The word 'find' is duplicated. Remove the repeated word to correct the sentence. The rest of the sentence is fine.