Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitation and repetition, correct grammar (use present simple: I get panicked), and limit to maximum 3–4 short sentences. Add a brief reason or example using a linking word.

例: Yes, I do. I'm quite particular about cleanliness and I feel uncomfortable when things are messy. Because a tidy environment helps me think clearly, I usually clear up quickly before I relax.

提案: Answer directly with correct past tense and avoid repetition. Use one linking word to explain reason or contrast. Provide a short example to make it specific.

例: Not really. When I was a child I rarely kept my room tidy because I preferred playing to cleaning. As a result, my mother often had to remind me and sometimes helped me organize my toys.

提案: Be concise and use coherent linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g. remove duplicate words), finish the sentence, and give one specific habit or example to show how you organize.

例: I tidy my desk before I start working. For example, I clear papers, put pens in a cup and arrange my books, because having an organized space helps me focus better.

提案: State your opinion clearly, use fewer fillers, and provide a concise reason with a linking word. Give a short consequence or example to strengthen your point.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it reduces distractions and makes it easier to find things. For instance, when my desk is organized I finish tasks faster and feel less stressed.

× I always like get panic and always want to clean the things up first and then relax.

✓ I always like getting panicked and always want to clean things up first and then relax.

The verb 'like' should be followed by a gerund (verb + -ing) when referring to general preferences. Also, 'get panic' is incorrect; use 'get panicked' or better 'get panicky' or 'feel panicked'. Remove the extra 'the' before 'things' for natural English. Suggestion: Use 'like getting' and 'feel panicked' or 'get panicky' and avoid unnecessary articles.

× When I was a child, I never keep my room tidy.

✓ When I was a child, I never kept my room tidy.

This sentence refers to a past habitual action, so the past tense 'kept' (simple past) is required rather than the base form 'keep'. Suggestion: Use simple past for habits in the past: 'never kept'.

× My all, my mom always instruct me and force me to uh, clean my room and organize my stuff.

✓ My mum (or my mom) always instructed me and forced me to clean my room and organize my stuff.

The phrase 'My all' is incorrect and likely unnecessary; remove it. 'Mom' is fine but maintain consistency. The verbs 'instruct' and 'force' refer to past actions, so they should be in past tense ('instructed', 'forced'). Also pronoun 'me' is fine but the verb forms must match past time. Suggestion: Remove extraneous words, use past tense verbs: 'always instructed me and forced me'.

× But uh, I always have to face uh, I have always have to struggle.

✓ But I always had to struggle with it.

The original repeats and mixes present and past forms ('always have to face', 'I have always have to struggle') causing ungrammatical structure. Because context refers to childhood, use past tense: 'had to struggle'. Add 'with it' to clarify the object of struggle. Suggestion: Simplify to one correct past construction: 'I always had to struggle with it.'.

× I always try to clean my study table and or work table clean before going to sit there and I always try to organize the stuff before starting my work because it really helps me focus and.

✓ I always try to clean my study or work table before sitting there, and I always try to organize my stuff before starting work because it really helps me focus.

Unnecessary repetition and incorrect word order ('clean... clean' and 'going to sit there') make the sentence awkward. Use 'before sitting there' rather than 'before going to sit there.' 'Organize the stuff' is unnatural; use 'organize my stuff.' Remove trailing 'and.' Suggestion: Combine ideas; use natural collocations: 'clean my study or work table before sitting there' and 'organize my stuff before starting work'.

× It is very necessary to be tidy because when you are all clean up and organize your things and keep everything tidy, it really uh, helps you concentrate on uh, things more as compared to uh, if you don't do uh, all the.

✓ It is very necessary to be tidy because when you clean up, organize your things, and keep everything tidy, it really helps you concentrate more compared to when you don't.

The phrase 'you are all clean up' is ungrammatical; 'clean up' is a verb phrase and should be used as 'when you clean up.' 'As compared to if you don't do all the' is incomplete and awkward; replace with 'compared to when you don't.' Remove filler words and redundant 'tidy.' Suggestion: Use correct verb forms and complete the comparison: 'when you clean up, organize your things, and keep everything tidy... compared to when you don't.'.