Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 솔직하긴 하나 문법 실수, 과도한 말더듬(예: 'uh', 'mmm'), 그리고 중복된 표현이 있어 자연스러움과 명확성이 떨어집니다. 문장 구조를 간단한 주제문(topic sentence) + 1~2개의 구체적 이유(specific reasons)로 정리하세요. 연결어(for example, however, because)를 사용해 문장을 매끄럽게 이어주고 불필요한 감탄사와 반복을 줄이세요. 또한 'a bit messy' 같은 표현 대신 더 적확한 형용사(untidy, disorganized)를 사용하면 어휘 점수를 올릴 수 있습니다.

例: I wouldn't call myself very tidy; I'm somewhat untidy because I often leave things out when I'm busy. For example, I sometimes leave clothes on the chair or leave books on my desk, and I don't always bother to put them away. However, I try to organize important items like my laptop and documents so I can find them when I need them.

提案: 답변이 질문에 대체로 응답하였으나 시제와 문법(예: 'I busier', 'what it tells me') 오류, 반복('now' 과다)과 비문이 있어 이해가 어렵습니다. 과거 습관을 설명할 때는 'used to'를 정확히 사용하고, 현재와의 차이를 간단한 비교 구조(topic sentence + contrast)로 표현하세요. 그리고 불필요한 반복을 피하고 이유는 한두 개로 제한해 구체적으로 설명하세요.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy because my parents insisted on it, and I cleaned it every weekend. Now I'm much busier with work, so I don't clean as often and I have more freedom to decide how to keep my room.

提案: 답변이 의도를 전달하지만 잦은 말더듬('uh','mmm'), 어색한 표현('plan to exams', 'do something organized')과 문법 오류가 있습니다. 구체적인 방법(예: make a schedule, put items in boxes)을 제시하고 연결어(first, then, so)를 사용해 절차를 명확히 하세요. 문장은 간결하게 2~3문장으로 구성하세요.

例: When I need to study or tidy my space, I make a clear schedule and set small tasks, such as organizing my books and clearing my desk. First I put textbooks in order, then I remove any distractions like my phone, so I can focus better during study sessions.

提案: 응답은 긍정적이나 발음 오타('Heidi' → 'tidy'), 반복, 어순 및 문법 오류('helps us achieve more our goals')가 있어 명확성이 떨어집니다. 이유를 1~2개로 정리하고 구체적 예시(예: fewer distractions, better productivity)를 들어 연결어(because, for example, therefore)를 사용해 논리를 전개하세요. 발음과 단어 선택에도 주의하세요.

例: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because it reduces distractions and improves productivity. For example, if my desk is organized I can find things quickly and concentrate better, so I finish tasks faster and feel less stressed.

× I tend to be a met a bit messy.

✓ I tend to be a bit messy.

The sentence has extra and misplaced words causing a sentence structure error. Remove the erroneous word 'a met' and place 'a bit' before the adjective 'messy' to form a correct English phrase: 'a bit messy.' Use 'tend to be a bit messy' for natural word order. Suggestion: Practice reducing redundant words and keeping modifier phrases directly before the adjective they modify.

× I try to keep things organized uh, but sometimes I fail to be tidy because I get lazy and it doesn't really bother me.

✓ I try to keep things organized, but sometimes I fail to be tidy because I get lazy and it doesn't really bother me.

This sentence mainly needs punctuation and fluency rather than tense change. Keep present tense consistent: 'try', 'fail', 'get' are all present. Remove filler and add a comma for clarity. Suggestion: Avoid unnecessary fillers like 'uh' in written sentences and ensure punctuation separates clauses for clarity.

× Yes, my parents told me to clean my room. Uh, so I used to clean my room regularly, but now it's different.

✓ Yes, my parents told me to clean my room, so I used to clean my room regularly, but now it's different.

Combine related clauses into one sentence with correct punctuation. 'Told' and 'used to' are correct past forms here. The filler 'Uh' should be removed for correctness. Suggestion: Use commas to join related ideas and remove oral fillers in writing.

× These days I don't really do that because I busier now and what it tells me to clean up now and I have more freedom now.

✓ These days I don't really do that because I'm busier now, and my parents don't tell me to clean up anymore, and I have more freedom.

Error types: missing verb 'am' after subject 'I' (present tense), awkward phrase 'what it tells me', and repetitive 'now'. Use 'I'm busier' for correct present tense with verb 'to be', replace 'what it tells me to clean up' with 'my parents don't tell me to clean up anymore' for meaning clarity, and remove redundant 'now'. Suggestion: Ensure the verb 'to be' is present when required (I am = I'm) and avoid repeating time adverbs; replace unclear phrases with explicit subjects.

× MMM when I have to clean my room or uh, plan to exams, I usually plan more specifically and try to do something organized.

✓ When I have to clean my room or plan for exams, I usually make a more specific plan and try to be organized.

Problems: 'plan to exams' is incorrect preposition usage and verb choice; awkward phrasing 'plan more specifically' and 'do something organized.' Use 'plan for exams', 'make a more specific plan', and 'be organized' for natural structure. Remove filler 'MMM' and 'uh'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('plan for exams') and prefer natural collocations: 'make a plan', 'be organized'.

× Uh, it helps me to. Uh, achieve more my goals and this really helpful.

✓ It helps me achieve my goals more, and this is really helpful.

Errors: unnecessary infinitive split 'helps me to. Uh, achieve', incorrect word order 'achieve more my goals', and missing verb 'is' in 'this really helpful'. Correct phrase is 'helps me achieve my goals more' and 'this is really helpful.' Suggestion: Keep verb phrases together (helps me achieve), place modifiers correctly (achieve my goals more), and include linking verbs (is) where required.

× Yes, I think so because, uh, being Heidi helps us achieve more our goals and.

✓ Yes, I think so because being tidy helps us achieve our goals more.

Errors: 'Heidi' is likely a misspelling of 'tidy'; incorrect word order 'achieve more our goals' and trailing conjunction. Correct to 'being tidy helps us achieve our goals more.' Suggestion: Check spelling and place adverbs after the object ('achieve our goals more'). Remove unnecessary fillers and trailing conjunctions.

× Cleaning our backgrounds can help can keep us from distracting other things such as using our phones or.

✓ Cleaning our surroundings can help keep us from getting distracted by other things, such as using our phones or doing other activities.

Problems: repeated 'can', misuse of 'backgrounds' (wrong word choice), missing gerund 'getting distracted', and incomplete ending after 'or'. Use 'surroundings' or 'environment', 'help keep us from getting distracted by', and complete the list 'doing other activities.' Suggestion: Choose correct nouns (surroundings/environment), avoid duplicate auxiliary verbs, use gerunds after 'from' (getting distracted), and finish parallel lists.