Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary and grammar, avoid repetition, and make the response concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason and one short example. Use correct collocations (e.g., “keep my things neat”, “properly cleaned”).

例: Yes, I do. I find it difficult to concentrate in a cluttered space, so I always keep my desk and shelves neat. For example, I tidy away papers every evening and put stationery in a drawer so I can start work quickly the next day.

提案: Improve past-tense forms and word choice, avoid long repetitive sentences, and add one clear specific detail. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then briefly describe your mother’s role and your own responsibility. Use cohesive linking words (e.g., “also”, “because”).

例: Yes, I usually did. My mother played a big role—she often made my bed and reminded me to pick up toys after school. I learned to clean my room regularly because keeping the house tidy is important for our health.

提案: Use correct nouns and articles, avoid invented phrases (e.g., “charger tree”), and be specific and structured: topic sentence + two supporting details. Use linking words to connect idea and one short example of routine.

例: I keep my study space tidy by putting books on a shelf and storing stationery in a pen holder. I also charge devices on a designated station every evening, which helps me concentrate and makes it easy to start work the next day.

提案: Make the opinion clear and correct grammar. Give one or two concise reasons with a linking word and a brief example. Avoid vague phrasing like “I'm being thing like that.”

例: Yes, I think it is necessary. Being tidy promotes a healthier lifestyle and reduces stress; for example, working in a clean room helps me focus and finish tasks faster.

× Yes, absolutely. It is very hard for me to work in a cluttered environment so I usually keep keep my things spec and spam and make sure that everything around me is proper cleaned.

✓ Yes, absolutely. It is very hard for me to work in a cluttered environment, so I usually keep my things neat and tidy and make sure that everything around me is properly cleaned.

Errors: repeated word 'keep', incorrect words 'spec and spam' (nonsense), and incorrect form 'proper cleaned' (needs adverb + past participle). Type: Verb in the present participle form (10) because 'properly cleaned' requires the present participle/past participle form usage and correct adverb. Suggestion: remove duplicate 'keep', replace with correct collocation 'neat and tidy', and use 'properly cleaned' (adverb + past participle).

× Yes, I tried my best but my mother also play a very big role in that.

✓ Yes, I tried my best, but my mother also played a very big role in that.

Error: 'play' is present tense while the sentence context is past ('tried'). Use past tense 'played'. Type: Past tense issue (5). Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense for actions completed in the past.

× She made my bed after I went to this school and ensured that the floor was clean every day by the mate.

✓ She made my bed after I went to school and ensured that the floor was cleaned every day by the maid.

Errors: 'this school' is awkward; 'by the mate' is incorrect word choice. Also 'clean' as an adjective could be improved to passive 'cleaned every day'. Type: Past tense issue (5) because actions are in past; also lexical choice. Suggestion: Use 'went to school', 'cleaned every day', and correct noun 'maid' if referring to a housekeeper.

× Moreover, she make our whole house very neat and clean and it also our responsibility to make our house and our environment neat and clean because it is very good for our health also.

✓ Moreover, she made our whole house very neat and clean, and it was also our responsibility to keep our house and environment tidy because it is very good for our health.

Errors: 'make' and 'is' tense disagreement with past context; missing verb 'was' before 'our responsibility'; awkward word order and redundancy. Type: Present tense issue (6) because present 'make' should be past 'made' in context. Suggestion: Use past tense 'made' and 'was', and use 'keep' or 'tidy' to avoid repetition.

× I usually keep my space tidy by organising the thing into the desk like books and note on the shelf, stationery in a pan holder and electronic device on the charger tree.

✓ I usually keep my space tidy by organising things on the desk, such as books and notes on the shelf, stationery in a pen holder, and electronic devices on the charging station.

Errors: incorrect prepositions ('into the desk'), singular/plural mismatches, wrong nouns ('pan holder', 'charger tree'). Type: Incorrect use of prepositions (11) because items should be 'on the desk' and 'on the shelf'. Suggestion: Use 'on' for surfaces, pluralize countable nouns, and use correct vocabulary 'pen holder' and 'charging station'.

× And also I think that clean environment improve my concentration and make starting the work for the next day easier.

✓ I also think that a clean environment improves my concentration and makes starting work for the next day easier.

Errors: missing article 'a', subject-verb agreement 'environment improve' should be 'environment improves', and 'make starting the work' needs 'makes starting work'. Type: Verb in the present participle form (10) and Subject-verb agreement (27) because verbs must agree and be in correct form. Suggestion: Add article 'a', use third-person singular verbs 'improves' and 'makes', and remove extra 'the' before 'work'.

× Yes, I'm being thing like that. Being tidy is very necessary because it helps us to maintain healthy lifestyle and for example if we work in a clean environment.

✓ Yes, I think like that. Being tidy is very necessary because it helps us maintain a healthy lifestyle, for example, if we work in a clean environment.

Errors: 'being thing' is incorrect word choice, 'maintain healthy lifestyle' missing article, sentence fragment at end. Type: Incorrect use of pronouns (12) and Sentence structure errors (26) because pronoun/word choices and sentence completeness are wrong. Suggestion: Replace 'being thing' with 'I think', add 'a' before 'healthy lifestyle', and complete the example clause or connect it properly.